LIVING WITH CHRONIC SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS AKIN TO BEING DEAD ALIVE! LIKE A WALKING ZOMBIE, UNABLE TO FUNCTION WITH IT´S OWN RIGHT MIND!! POST NO.3/H (A 10 minute read)
Hello again to you readers and I shall begin today´s post by mentioning some very disturbing statistics as revealed on the national news bolletin last night. A quarter of the under-24 year old age group here in Spain are suffering from INSOMNIA!! And a quarter of those are regularly using sedatives to get to sleep.
The walking dead!! Young folk walking around ZOMBIFIED every day because they cannot sleep properly. WHY, you may well ask? The answer will surely have ANXIETY and possibly FEAR at the core of the issue. Social networks have become free areas for the NARCISSIST predator that is MAN-KIND, to prey on VULNERABLE folk.
Those NARCISSIST predators will have no reason to get up early and be in at work on time the next day. So, they won´t be in any hurry to get off line, will they? But maybe you DO have to be up and out of your door on time. You DO have something of importance to you to do the next day and you want to be in the right condition to COPE with your day!
Sadly for US, the victims of NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, whether we know and have ACTUAL contact with a NARCISSIST, or whether we know a NARCISSIST through VIRTUAL contact, it actually amounts to the same thing. In both cases the male NARCISSIST will be seeking to control you and manipulate you!
NARCISSISTS have trouble sleeping and will never be the "Early to bed" types. Just as I have said myself, until that damned film finishes (1.30 am), the NARCISSIST will not even contemplate going to bed. They don´t enjoy silence and they don´t enjoy sleep. So, they will never be asking you to go to bed early so that you can get the rest that you need and wake up fully refreshed each morning.
Amongst the many online therapists on YouTube, I have found Dr. Ramani´s presentation of the facts very straightforward, she knows what NARCISSISTIC ABUSE is all about and recognizes just how prevalent it really is. I shall give you a link here to one of her videos talking about sleep difficulties and some reasons why victims have trouble sleeping. SLEEP DIFFICULTIES IN NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIPS
RUMINATING, RUMINATING AND RUMINATING SOME MORE!
One of the characteristics that takes us (victims of NARCISSISTIC ABUSE), ALL by storm, is the sudden bursts of raging, intimidating, threatening, insultory, violent vocabulary and of course, very aggressive behaviour that the NARCISSIST will display. But night time (bedtime), far from being a time for relaxing and unwinding, it is converted into a very ANXIOUS period of time.
"Will I be able to get any quality sleep tonight?" That being a daily question that you ask yourself. "What can he find to pick fault with today? Surely I have done nothing to provoke his IRE today?" But of course, his rages have little to do with you; they too, are all about HIM.
There are many psychologists working online trying to bring awareness to all the hideous mechanisms of the NARCISSIST to destroy their unwitting victims with. There are also though, those who belong to the NARCISSIST camp. The self-confessed NARCISSISTS and if you want to hear it from the "horse´s mouth" as we say, then maybe you had best listen to the "HORSE"!
I was horrified the first time that I listened to this young man, Mr. Lee Hammock, which was back in December 2022. Once more I was confined to home with the NARCISSIST, as finally, after avoiding COVID-19 for over two and a half years, he became infected and of course, infected me too.
He had just flown into a typical NARCISSISTIC rage, spouting all manner of s**t and filth out of his mouth, directed at me, OF COURSE!!! In the very first video of Mr. Lee Hammock´s that I saw, I was astounded to hear him say word for word (in English), what the Spanish NARCISSIST that I live with had just said.
I was nearly going mad with the frustration of having him at home all day again. And this is the link to the post that I wrote "the morning after" that particular session (17/12/2022): IT IS ANOTHER DAY! THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT!
It marked the beginning of my in depth study of this hideous psychological disorder that is NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER and can happily say that Mr. Lee Hammock, who has been in therapy for seven years now, is clearly changing little by little. But to hear a self-confessed NARCISSIST explaining their reasons for their treatment of you is absolutely horrifying.
This is what he says about sleep deprivation: WHY DON´T SOME NARCISSISTS LET YOU GO TO SLEEP WHEN THEY ARE UPSET WITH YOU? It makes for painful listening but as a long-term victim myself, this is how it goes folks. The NARCISSIST is trying deliberately to wear you down, he is trying deliberately to disrupt your job and other relationships.
He is trying deliberately to make your life difficult to cope with. He is trying to weaken your resolve and stamina. He is trying to break your will to fight for your INDEPENDENCE. What he really wants is for you to let go of all that you have ongoing and succumb to living solely to serve him and fill in for all of his deficiencies.
Truly, he does want you to capitulate to the rigours of your life by depriving you of sleep on a daily basis. Your desperate desire, or better said, your desperate NEED for sleep, leaves you struggling with each and every day from the word "GO"! You have no energy left for anything that is not absolutely essential.
This is the ploy of course. You willingly miss out on get togethers with friends or work colleagues. You become known as the "anti-social" one but you convince yourself that you want to be dedicated to your family. No, you don´t have the energy for life beyond the NARCISSIST.
Already he is draining you of your energy filling sleep. So why does the NARCISSIST not want to sleep? Well maybe it is not so much that they don´t want to sleep as that sleep doesn´t mean the same thing to them as it does to normal human beings. As Mr. Lee Hammock explains in this video: WHY SOME NARCISSISTS HAVE TROUBLE SLEEPING
The NARCISSIST ruminates as well. Just as you are spending all your time ruminating over him and you and why he treats you so badly and why you are so unhappy, he spends all his time ruminating over every single person that he crosses paths with; minus you, of course! He doesn´t give you that much thought time!
No, he is ruminating over every word said to him. Every look that was given to him. How others had PERCEIVED him. Had they seen through his facade, his FALSE-SELF? Or had he been able to fool people again today? Maybe he had discovered a possible new supply source of FALSE-SELF ego feed!!
The male NARCISSIST that I live with has always had a sleep problem. As I said in the last post, he can drop off to sleep very quickly in front of the TV, with the volume up high and the lights on. But a darkened room and silence triggers unrest in him.
He clutches hold of me and wraps himself around me on turning out the lights. YES! He FEARS the shadows of the night. He tosses and turns and throws his arms and legs about (usually clonking me), all through the night. He really cannot consider staying in bed for more than five hours!
Sleep doesn´t have the same restorative effect on him as it does most people but sleeping with a NARCISSIST is fraught with much frustration and woe betide you should disturb him whilst asleep. And of course, if he wakes up and can´t get back to sleep, you can be sure that the lights will go on and he will begin making noise specifically to wake you up too!
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| FAR TOO MANY HOURS SPENT RUMINATING INSTEAD OF SLEEPING! Photo by Jordan Bauer on Unsplash. |
THE NARCISSIST LIKES BEDTIME FOR OFFLOADING!
It is not just bedtime that the NARCISSIST chooses to offload his toxic venom and inject it into you, but by bedtime the toxic venom levels of the NARCISSIST are overflowing and if he is to get any sleep at all that night, he is going to have to offload a whole load of his toxic overflow into you, his nearest and dearest!!!??!
In the next video linked here, Mr. Danish Bashir explains this regular process of the NARCISSIST´S and his reasons for doing so. Have a listen: WHY DO NARCISSISTS FALL ASLEEP SO EASILY AFTER A FIGHT?
I have spent so many nights of my life just as Mr. Bashir illustrates in this video. Because of course you cannot put the light on or start making noise. OH, NO! You have to lie silent in the darkness, ALONE, listening to his snoring, FEELING like you must be the only person awake in the whole of the world.
The injustice of it, the SELFISHNESS of it and night after night. Maybe it is not difficult to see how your hatred of the NARCISSIST grows with each week spent together. You know that he is thinking solely of himself. You cannot help but FEEL that he really has NO RESPECT for you and your well-being at all!
Thank you for reading and I truly hope that you are ALL able to enjoy a full and refreshing night´s sleep every night! In the next post I will explain how SLEEP DEPRIVATION has changed my life beyond belief and sadly, led me to the painful situation in which I find myself right now.