WHAT INSPIRED ME TO BEGIN BOOK WRITING?

WHERE WAS THE CATALYST? PUMPED UP IDEAS BUT ARE THEY ALL HOT AIR OR LIFE BRINGING MANNA? Post No.3 (A 31 minute read) 

Hello again friends, well, I have had a productive day in which I have learnt quite a few new bits and pieces and that always feels good. Just as I finished my last post, my phone rang. It was my partner who said, "Hi Galadriel, is it safe to come and get a sandwich?" "I will get my gloves on!" I replied with a smile. My greeting smile felt more genuine than of late, that happens when I think of all these little things and know that they are what keep us going and maybe why I do not ever give up hope of improving our status quo.

I have started my blog with a view to discussing my books now that I have taken up writing. My trains of thought being followed where ever they go. Meandering along and enjoying the ramble. That is total freedom. I often feel like a Buddhist monk and I know that I would enjoy spending time up in the Himalayas meditating. Meditation is after all only concentrating on thinking and exploring your own brain and trying to tap into your genetic memory and hopefully lighten up some more passage ways in your own memory store room. 

As each passage way is explored, so the light is shed upon your path. Enlightenment. I have some wonderfully enlightening moments when I go off rambling through my labyrinthal brain; I really do. The problem is trying to write as fast as my thinking, which is absolutely impossible in truth. But that is the sign that my lights are at my command again, the shadows can fall but I can easier cast them aside, if only temporarily.

I had thought many times of writing a book, I had certainly had many `novel´ ideas. I had met an American gentleman whilst slaving in a restaurant some years ago now and he was very encouraging and I felt that I was getting closer to doing so. The summer work season drew to a close and the out of work period began. I was exhausted, seven-day weeks, we only did not do eight-day weeks because there are not eight days in a week, plus this is ten to twelve hours per day and all for thirty euros. As I said; SLAVERY!! 

In spite of eating very little per day, I seemed to be filling out around the waistline and bust. Is this for real, I asked myself? I am barely eating and buzzing around non-stop all day and night, why was I plumping up like this. Middle age spread sprang to mind, well, yes, I had broken into my fifties the year before, oh, no, I am getting OLD? At home with time on my hands and little to do, one could think that would be an ideal time to start getting myself back into shape.

I had worked as a fitness instructor in my thirties and had been such an active exerciser since my early twenties but now my driver had completely disappeared and as yet has not returned. It was like `hitting the wall´, everything that had been ME, just seemed to have disappeared. I have ever prided myself for my monumental memory and here I was not even knowing why I had just stood up. My goodness, is this the onset of Alzheimer´s, what already? I was terrified. I could not think at all. I could not string two thoughts together.

I would wake up sobbing with tears and then proceed to sit and look at the wall all day and I mean all day! The tears would not subside, WHY? What was happening to me? I had quite literally, from one day to the next, become the complete opposite to me in everything. What I did not know at that moment in time was that in fact my body had been undergoing its own personal inter-blood changes. Shifting my hormone levels around, having decided that I no longer needed to ovulate.

And yes, I could not believe how my thoughts were winding around maternity and that by age no, I would not ever know what it was to be pregnant and give birth to a piece of myself and so reincarnate. There in the trigger to the depression. My whole body, heart, soul and mind went into communal grieving for the loss of my former self. I would go spiralling off into daydreams that would run all day and I would only come out of them when my partner came home.

Were these daydreams though, well, no, they were fantasy, pure fantasy? Romance, passion, unbending love and commitment! We are attributed with a great sense of romance as INFJs. I had never realized just how deep mine ran. Reciprocity was the all central focus of these fantasies, blissful intimacy and reciprocity. 

I could see myself, looking out of the window of the top tower of my castle, sat on top of a mountain with a long, winding road which disappeared out of my sight. What lay beyond? Whatever lay beyond, it had nothing to do with me, or maybe I had nothing to do with it. The once beautifully kempt gardens were wild and showed their abandon. Since the little prince left home, the laughter and play had gone. Thorns and brambles were now growing all up the walls. Indeed many had been planted on purpose in front of the main door. 

That was never unlocked; it did not need to be. My Prince Charming climbed up his Rapunzel´s tresses; he did not need a key! The back door though, always had a way out and whilst I had to stay in sight of the castle, I explored every blade of grass within my range. Woe betides those tresses not falling down when solicited!!! 

But the tears which cascaded down those castle walls had ensured that whilst Cinderella was neglecting all of her duties to her Prince Charming, HIS castle and her own self, the plants had not wanted for hydration. They were vigorous and rampant, just like me! But my prince was never a consummate gardener. Maybe being born in a concrete jungle and not having a garden of your own, you never FEEL plants.

My mother FELT the plants that we had in our gardens, front and back. When my mother, father, sister and dog, moved to this house, it was new. Our gardens front and back were recently dug over earth, a blank canvas all ready to begin embellishing. Wow! Our gardens were our play ground and I speak much of this beautiful start to life that I was afforded by my PROTAGONIST father and my DEFENDER mother. To share it with me was my CONSUL big sister and our two year old dog, who without a shadow of a doubt, would come in as a DEFENDER too.

She was blonde and shaggy by the time I was born, no longer a pup. The photos of big sis´as a babe and toddler all have our blonde pup in them as well. So it was for me too. Between the dog and my elder sister, well, I had to teach both of them a very important lesson which was, "You do not have to tell Mum everything I do!" The manipulator was always there. "I am eating a worm! What is wrong with that?" I can still stand by that! The hunter and gatherer in me, as my beloved Dad would say to my Mum. I tasted everything that moved in our gardens!

Eventually my mother gave up, as she could see that I was now getting back-up! My Dad though, well, he had 72% Intuitive and me 83% Intuitive. He taught me about the ones that I really did not ought to eat because they were poisonous. My sister would do the same but well, there was only ever one person who could come close to me in fantasy story making as a child and that was my big sister. My goodness, when I look back and think of the stories that she made up that I believed totally. If my Dad or elder sister had said it, then it must be true.

Young child as I was, I did not know clinical character traits in the defined sense but these two were always right; I thought. Both of them had 100% Judging if you remember. So, you see how my intuition, all 83% of it, was clearly making its own decisions and pretty well. How and why did my big sister pull the wool over my eyes so often? That is what I have ever asked myself. Well, I think I can now answer that because for all of my Intuitive she was Observant. For all of my Turbulent she was Assertive. The one who can see how they can easily dominate a vulnerable mind! And if you, like I, think the sun shines out of their back end, well, you will be taken for a ride with great frequency.

I FEEL that my father would have stepped in here and pulled her up on this. "She is your younger sister by two years, not your equal. You are taking advantage of your superior knowledge but if you wanted to, you could be the one to teach your sister and guide her!" Because yes, she did leave off setting me up. She would start to do so and I would feel a little, uuuhm and so I would look in her eyes. "AH, YES, NOW I HAVE GOT YOU!!! I can see your intention in your eyes." Tuning in now as I was to her voice, I could hear it too. 74% FEELING me and 83% INTUITIVE!

It was not the same then for her and she put it aside and became everything that I have already shared with you. She was very even keel for the most part, it was only hideous males who upset her status quo. It is said that we INFJs attract the abusive partners and I agree, I will expand on that at another moment. But so too do the female CONSUL types like my sister. An assertive, confident, career woman, in charge of her life, able to make her own decisions as and where necessary. INDEPENDENT in every sense. The lousy, parisitic, waster type seem attracted to them. As I have sadly had to witness with my sister.

As soon as they got their foot in her door, they spent 24 hours a day using the place, her and her money. She suffered severe violence and pain on various occasions trying to get these bastards out of her home and life. Something I share too. I have been knocked almost unconscious by three partners too. Neither she nor I, ever got it right. I came closer but all right, NO; as you are hearing. She just like I then, only needed a male for company (stimulating company at that) and for sexual sensations. If neither of those were satisfying well, no need to carry on. 

We both wanted to be treated by a male as our father treated us; as equals. He spent much time with us as young girls, attempting to give us the benefit of all that he knew and we had his full support at all times but we rarely had the support from our mother as teenagers. On top of everything our Dad was great company, we loved being with our Dad. We loved the way he talked, all that he told us was so nicely related and I know that as a man, he FELT freedom while alone with his daughters who adored him and he came out of his emotional shell with us. Beautiful days.

Between Mum and Dad and all their hard work, we had gardens that changed with the seasons and my parents´ growing knowledge on gardening. My mother would watch gardening programmes and learn. My father bought gardening manuals. It was our paradise. We had our own vegetable patches and the wonderful things of edible nature that were grown in that garden, well, this is HOBBITON in real life! And yes, there is a tremendous similarity as children, of the FRODO - SAM pairing as my big sis´and I. She obviously being Frodo!!! But faithful Sam/little sis´, who is prepared to die for you or with you but will be with you every step of the way and I proved that, I just wish I had not had to be put to that ultimate test!

So, nature´s child here, like she does not know a thing or two about nature and growing cycles!! And yes, try and stop this brain from whirring round! I grow, I bud, I get excited, yes, I am going to bloom this time. But no, my city dwelling, unconsummate gardener does not FEEL life, he does not FEEL growth and so, comes and unceremoniously hacks me down to my ankles. Although my own tear shedding is most days of the week, I never become dehydrated! Food for thought? I will never have a shortage of that and therein the new growth begins to shoot out again.

That is what is happening here, right now. Growth, in what direction, I am not altogether sure but hey? I am not a systematic, ordered type, NO; not at all. Randomly FEELING, getting drifts, picking up scents and following trails. I learnt from my dog too! I did learn so much from the dogs in my life. If they would eat it then it must be ok and my mother gave up trying to protect us all from ourselves and just let us get on with it. 

I went one better than that though with my little Puppy and I introduced him to every creepy crawly and told him of the flavours and textures, which were good to eat and which were not. What do you think the result of that was? He hardly ever put anything into his mouth when out in the wild, real world of nature. 

My mother did the same with him as a toddler, learning a generation late, but many have been better grand-parents than parents. That has been my mother´s case. My Puppy absolutely adores her and we have beautiful photos of him in her arms walking around our gardens, talking him through all that he is seeing. Blissful days, when everything seemed to fit, for me at least! Then Dad died and bliss with it!!

Back to the thread of today´s blog and well, in the distance, I spot a figure walking up the winding path to the castle. He has a bag over his shoulder and a guitar case in one hand. I know him, oh, yes, I know him! How is it that you are coming to me, how have you found me? Yes, it is you that I have been looking for all my life, YOU! The PERI-MENOPAUSE is brutal for some, me being one of them. Bear with me, you need to know how it is!

It is none other than my favourite troubadour (as I think of him), Mark Knopfler. Here was my Prince Charming come to bring the music back into this castle and stir life into this drained and wasted princess locked within herself now; as well as the castle. Double thickness walls!! At his mid-fifties age, he was looking positively like my father was when he met his end at just 58 years of age. I could see it, I had always looked for a man like my father, not physically speaking but in character and this man well, I know him to be so assertive, prospecting, intuitive, deep-feeling and has found the way to be an extroverted introvert.

I so feel that is what I am needing to do. I actually think that I would see this man more fifty-fifty with his percentages, barring the turbulent, there he is far outweighed by the assertive. Well, he comes right into the forecourt, lays down his guitar case and his bag. What will be his next move I ask myself? Oh, no! Please do not call for Rapunzel to send down her tresses and no, please do not risk life and limb trying to climb up the brambles! My own personal experiences can tell you that if they could not take my childhood weight, well, as an adult male, I can see you coming to a sad end!!! 

I did not know that my fantasy troubadour was a consummate gardener. He opened his bag and got out his gardening tools and began to set to work. He observed each and every plant before setting to with the secateurs. Oh, how he toiled under the hot sun and by sundown, what a difference! The great castle door had at last become accessible, would he now knock at the door? He had not once as yet looked up at my window, did he even know I was there? He cleaned up his tools and put them back in his bag and then took his guitar out of its case.  

PURE ROMANCE, NO TABOOS! SING TO ME TROUBADOUR!

He began to play and sing and yes, he knew I was in there, he knew how I FELT, he FELT the same. I could hear that in his words. Here was my kindred spirit at last! No, I did not need whisking away on a white steed to HIS castle and end up the same again. I wanted to throw the shutters wide open, all the doors wide open, clear all the debris, cobwebs and dust away. Polish everything and make HOME again! Get my intuitive, artistic Puppy back and with my artistically, assertive troubadour and joined with this deep-feeling, intuitive being, find that HARMONY which I wish to FEEL always but can never find.

I suppose this could have gone on forever but a neighbour of mine suggested that we get together with a bottle of wine to which I said, YES! She knew something was wrong, my shutters were closed all day, every day. She lives in the UK but comes to stay regularly in her apartment in my urbanization. I actually felt like saying "NO", but she had come and knocked on my door and bless her heart! She was just the kind of person that I needed at that moment; like my big sister.

I spilled it all out and even the fantasies and cracked up laughing as she told me some of her fantasies. At sixteen years older than me, she had been here before; she knew what I was going through. Knowing that you are not the only one in the world has such an uplifting effect; it is the best therapy possible. Suddenly all of these feelings were not trapped inside me, they were being shared and with a sensitive person who knew first hand what this really was all about.

Music lover as I am, this is like being stuck in a groove and it was she who managed to nudge the record player´s arm over that scratch and into the next groove. I could not really believe the timing but Mark Knopfler released his new album not long after this conversation and shortly afterwards announced his tour dates. Stating so sadly, that this would be his farewell tour. Like I needed anymore reasons for crying!!!!

I think I must have been 250% Turbulent at this point in time! I did not want to see or speak to any living human. I just wanted to curl up in a ball and never wake up again. I was in total dormancy to vary from my previous state of just stagnancy. And this announcement of Mark´s was probably one of the few things that could have moved me. So, I GAVE my partner the choice of the gig in Valencia or Córdoba. He had recently had to get a copy of his birth certificate from the Córdoba registry office and had found out the address where he had been born in Córdoba. He had a yen to find out where he was born and so, Córdoba it was to be!

Assertive used to be my middle name, you become Turbulent when you do not have the power of decision. There would be no two ways about this one. "I go by myself if you do not want to go but I WILL GO TO MY FAVOURITE TROUBADOUR´S GIG, I WILL AND NOT YOU, NOR ANYTHING WILL STOP ME FROM DOING SO!" If only I could be like that with all things. but I evaluate life on my terms and by allowing him to dominate 95% of the time, when I really MUST make my own decision, he will give way. So it was here.

Really, I did not want to go away anywhere. I had always wanted to visit Córdoba, so had he. Now we had the perfect reason for going and we both wanted to; chalk that one up!! I just could not believe the unfairness of the timing though. I felt crap, oh, I felt like s**t, I really did. It was a supreme effort that I made but Mark Knopfler has been emotionally supporting me and accompanying me through my life for forty years and I was not going to have him pass by my door without saying goodbye.

It was a truly emotional gathering, I was very subdued. My mind was rambling. I could see a group of young teens, just 13 and 14, getting the train to an unknown town and wandering around trying to find the gig venue. Wow, I was one of them, that was now a full forty years ago! I had been to see Mark play on every tour and as a video passing before my eyes, I was seeing him and me through the years. How we had changed as we had grown older and I knew I loved him. A man who I have so much respect and admiration for, a truly fine man, like my own father and so hugely talented. A man to be really proud of. 

Gentle tears trickled down my face, a total contrast to everyone else who was buzzing with expectancy. I knew that I had to be one hundred per cent tuned in, this as my late sister said to me before, this is for real!! He was going to have his 70th birthday on tour. Me, sat in the sidelines, FEELING like life as I knew it had all ground to an end and thinking bless you Mark, I am truly grateful and thankful to you for having pushed yourself so hard, so long. You are along with my father and sister, the only ones who have never let me down. You deserve your retirement, you do!

Cutting into my thoughts my partner said, "I do not think that I have ever seen so many bald heads in the same place at one time." Of course, if you remember, my partner is no less than 99% Observant! I really had not noticed anyone at all, my eyes were focused on the stage. I was going to fill my eyes, ears, mind, body and soul with this last live performance, for me at least and savour each and every moment.

I do not know how many of you believe in talking things up, wavelengths and the like but having just written, "Cutting into my thoughts my partner said", and what do you know, the phone rings. "Good morning Sleeping Beauty, are you awake?" In truth I have been typing solidly since he left at 8am, now some four hours ago!!!! So, he just dropped by to physically cut into my thoughts! 

Back to the bald heads! Yes, natural really was it not? I could well imagine my 13 and 14 year old male companions of that very first Dire Straits gig, quite likely would not be wearing too much of their own hair by now either! I was quite likely one of the youngest in the crowd!

It was a spectacularly emotional evening and when finally we were obliged to leave the bullring, the tears gently rolled down my cheeks. My partner, MY PROTECTOR, put his arm around me and asked if I was ok. I smiled a weak smile and nodded. So practical like my mother, taking the leadership role now whilst I was in my state of vulnerability. I just walked and listened to him talk, he steered me and him back to our hotel and I finally gave way.

He had already taken his holiday time and so, these were an extra couple of days off, we just had the one day therefore to explore and ran out of time. I was so proud of myself actually. Truly, only that which I most valued could have got me out of my house at that period in time and I had gone to a CITY and been surrounded by thousands of people. Fair enough, all being Mark Knopfler appreciators, pretty good folk therefore and so, no fear there!

We had dinner in a busy restaurant which had a gig poster on the door. "I want it!" I said, "It was last night after all." "You cannot just take it." my partner said. "It will end up in the bin, you and I are the only ones in here who know who Mark is!" So, assertive again, I get up to go for the poster. He jumps up and restrains me, now this time I am not going to cede any ground, I am not. So, he approaches the young waiter and asks if he can have the poster off the door. The young lad turns round and says, "Yeah. No problem, that was last night! I don´t know who the geezer is though!"

That did not seem to matter right then. He had just played for the last time here in Spain, he would not ever get the chance now. So, thanks to my partner, I have that gig poster framed and on my wall here at home. If I had been struggling both physically and mentally thus far, what I did not know was that it was about to get much worse, much worse! 

I suffered genital inflammation and passed a blood clot. My partner was beside me all the way but then he does see my genitals as his and vital to his well-being, sad but true! These are some of the memories stored at the back of the cupboards. Unpleasant ones, things you could have well done without but they were not caused by any other and so, no one to pass the blame to. I had to stop taking the contraceptive pill and within two weeks all hell broke loose.

I was in fact MENOPAUSAL by that time, I was no longer menstruating but now I had to adjust to life without the hormonal apportation of the contraceptive pill. COLD TURKEY was the result of that. I had the most wicked testosterone charges, I became as my teenage son during puberty and beyond. Bristling, with teeth and fists clenched. Like I had not been suffering an out of mind dilemma big time, well, now I was getting the out of body slaughter too! 

The result of this was continual sparring with my partner, who kept telling me that I had changed personality. "You are telling me?" I would throw back at him. "I do not have to put up with this!" he would say. "No, you do not!" I would answer. "I cannot do anything about me but I can about you. Get out of my life, go, if you so hate being with me, then go, get out of my life and leave me to pick up my pieces. I will be better off without you!" Well, when the boot is on the other foot, all of a sudden they do not seem to want to go, do they?

As he was doing his habitual rearing up, so was I. The Galadriel in me, rearing even higher than him, spitting a lethal venom that was so masculine in its toxicity, that you have to live it to believe it can be so. I wanted to drain this out of my blood, out of my body. But I did get the break through that I was looking for and I did neutralize much of my sometime Prince Charming/protector and othertimes the hissing, spitting, venomous toad´s toxicity towards me.

He became so sympathetic and caring from then on and I could see once again, why I could not get away from this relationship. I do not know quite how he coped really. Did you know that 54% of relationships of twenty-five years plus, come apart at this time in life? As I said to him, "What have I been doing for the last twenty-five years that now, NOW, when I am at, I think, the most vulnerable point that I have ever been, that you will not support me?" He does care, he has not had the two parents that I had, oh, no! But he did come over to being what I so needed him to be through those miserable days and nights of sweat pouring, suffocating bursts.

By mid-summer, I was beginning to get familiar with my new physical condition and speaking with a few older women gave me a lot of support, encouragement and the reassurance that, yes, there was an end to all of these dreadful symptoms there was! I think that is the single most useful detail that a woman can give to another going through this, it does end; it does! HANG IN THERE and of course, if your partner is not supporting your sad, miserable condition, that really will be a catalyst for separation and rightly so!

We lived to fight another day as they say, a very apt phrase for me and mine. There was added turmoil caused by the sickening health of one of my partner´s brothers, younger than him by two years, it came as a shock. So, two trips were made pretty well back to back. The first to see him alive for the last time and the second to say goodbye for the last time. I was SO there for my partner. He had flown over to England for my sister´s funeral. That had been our first separation ever. Another of my ASSERTIVE moments over both him and Puppy. "MY SISTER IS DYING. I WILL NOT WAIT UNTIL SHE IS DEAD. WE, PUPPY AND I, ARE ON A FLIGHT THIS EVENING!"

My mother had called one hour before, I had only ever heard that tone of voice once before. "I need you; your sister needs you!" Eight hours later Puppy could see why we had to come NOW! I had to push my partner on this one too. He was in disbelief. I took the lead and he is grateful that my lead was good. A couple or three unhappy long journeys which all involved grieving and loss. In amidst that loss, we found each other again, even as my neighbour said she did with her partner. Me and mine have always been at our best in bad times which is why it rattles me so much that in better times, we cannot seem to be happy, or to my estimation of happy.

This all now happening in the height of summer and away from home, was very difficult for this sweating machine that I had become. Very embarrassing for sure. By the autumn though, there was a noticeable abating of the frequency of these bursts and flare-ups I think, or was I getting used to it, I am not altogether sure there?? As so, we wended our way to the end of another year. What a year packed full of novelties and all negative ones. I had to have biopsies, numerous tests and an operation set up, how I would have coped without my partner?

Back of the cupboard feelings, much pain of the physical nature but oh, how wonderful my partner is at absorbing my physical pain, he is brilliant at that! Just like my sister and Dad there! They could absorb my physical pain too but it was my emotional pain that they could so well absorb as well. My partner is like my mother, both of whom have been trained to be immune from emotional pain and expect all others to learn to do the same. There is my groaning, aching deficit; someone to help absorb and share my emotional pains. 

Having moved into 2020, it felt like the turning of a page. So many of those negatives were neutralized and then stored as positives, at the back of the cupboards I will grant you because yes, there was pain, physical and emotional, yes, there was turmoil much of it, yes, there was some support from sources that I had not expected and that had a surprising worth. There was a lot learnt that year but I can store it all well, rather than carry it all as a permanent burden.

It was a poor year but as I rounded up my thoughts for the year, I could FEEL a clarity beginning, my memory was recovering. I had so feared that it would be a permanent thing, oh, no! I was coming back to life but not the same life as had been, oh, no! I was coming out of the other side of menopause, the post-menopause where it is all over bar the shouting! This is a weird time psychologically, so weird. You do not know yourself, it is tough, it is! 

My brain was seeing how actually I could cope with much that was very difficult emotionally; I could. 2020 was going to be my year, as a phoenix from the ashes I was going to stretch my wings and fly anew. This was going to be the year that I came back to life, no more Rapunzel, no more Cinderella, no more Sleeping Beauty. ME!! Early February saw my partner take his holiday time and we both decided that we had not been in the right frame of mind the previous spring when we went to see troubadour and so we would get back to Córdoba and explore some more.

Oh, I was looking forward to this! I had booked a room with our window looking on to the grand MEZQUITA DE CÓRDOBA. WOW!! If there are two triggers that I can guarantee will cause my partner to fire, they are the words Arab and African and all derivatives beyond. I had when I met him, began to open up, I saw the warning signs, I stopped opening up! No problem, I rarely do with anyone, why should that be any different with my partner? 

Determined to enjoy this trip, we set off now with my partner under par physically, with a phenomenal aching hip and knee. Sat down driving all day is a crippler; watch out! He was not up for walking much and so it was that I went off exploring by myself. I could have easily started this blog right here and told you all in a couple of paragraphs what gets one started on writing a non-fictional book based on their own life. This was the catalyst my friends. Going off exploring alone as a resuscitating phoenix who has been in love with all things Arab, African and Asian since she can remember!

Sat on the Calipha´s terrace at the ancient, ruined city of Medina Azahara, I went back in time. My Arab travels had seen me become familiar with their culture and his-story. I could see it all and for the first time in my life to date, I began to think as a leader and question what leadership was about. These FELT like revelations to me, I had not ever thought quite this clearly before.

Back at the hotel, walking along the corridor, painted in swirling letters was this quote from Moshé ben Maimón, better known as Maimónides, who was one of the Calipha´s wise men and was born in Córdoba. This was the quote, "The risk of making a poor decision is preferable to the paralysis of indecision."

On arrival home, well, it was like all the s**t world-wide had hit the fan and COVID-19 took us all by storm. The paralysis of indecision was so evident, oh, yes, any decision will be better than none, but to do nothing is to set us up for life. And that is what our leaders have done. A three-month lockdown was enforced and I had my partner home 24 hours a day for two of those three months. If this had happened the year before, we may well have finished each other off!

I had been in permanent lockdown for two and a half years already but being locked down with the whole world, their children and dogs, well, where do I go to get peace? Into your bedroom, with door and window shut! Stay tough, the fittest of the fit shall survive and they will but it will be because of the decisions that they take for themselves and others when tough choices need to be made. That is how you survive. 

I got talking to the paper and found that friend that I so needed right then at that moment in time. So, it was that April 2020 saw me start down the path to authorship and the rest as they say; is HER-STORY!

Have you ever considered writing your life story down on paper? Or maybe you too have already written your life story down on paper. Did you enjoy the experience? I know I did.

If you would like to look inside my book, you can do so on my amazon page via these links: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN Paperback  and  ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN e-book

Thank you for reading thus far, please do FEEL welcome to comment on this blog and in the next blog I will introduce you all to my book. HAPPY THINKING!

Interested in other INFJ blogs, check this listing: https://lifestyle.feedspot.com/infj_blogs