REALITY CHECK; WILL YOU LOOK THE OTHER WAY?

IT IS TIME FOR A REALITY CHECK AMIDST ALL THE MADNESS! Post No.13 (A 6 minute read) 

Hello again readers, with all of the madness going down around me, I was in total despair. I was afraid for my own mother. My sister was one of the few who did actually work at all times. Tele-work or working from home as it has become known. She carried on with her daily schedule work wise but cut out the bus journey through morning rush hour and the return journey through the late afternoon rush hour. So, she was one of those who did benefit from working at home.

Although her frustration at not being able to have close physical contact with our mother was causing her much emotional strife. She was doing my mother´s shopping and on my mother´s instructions, leaving the bags three metres from her front door and conversing from that tantalizing distance. So near and yet, so far. I personally was relieved that I no longer had a teenager at home to keep bringing me fines for breaking the confinement laws and of course, the aggravation that millions of parents will have suffered trying to prevent their teenagers from going out!!

Music, music, music, relieve me of these frustrations, if only temporarily!

My mind turning towards my home land, I wrote the following. I quote myself from chapter six entitled REALITY CHECK:

I have touched on the Caliphas and their circles of wise men and that has helped me a great deal, but that has been really the final dawning of all my day dreaming of these last few menopausal years of mine. But of course, I am British by birth. Yes, I am but not always proud of it, much of British HIS-STORY brings me shame. UB40 (a Great British reggae band of the 1970s up to recent times), wrote a song titled `Burden of Shame´, which was on their first album `Signing Off´, referring to similar feelings. 

Any British readers will know of our UB40 unemployment card, hence the choice of the band´s name. They were all unemployed youths in Birmingham, wondering what their future´s were going to be about at the end of the 1970s.

Amidst mine closures and ship yards shutting up shop. Some of the long established, large employing industries, were now being scaled down and phased out but with no thought or provision to the ensuing mass unemployment levels. It was at this time that the unemployment levels in Gran Bretaña officially reached an all time high of 12% (the figures were fiddled, it was much higher than that!), that was in 1984.

These were my teenage years, I was still in secondary school but with this social unrest building in the working communities, the outlook was looking ever bleaker to me. The Special´s (a ska band of the late 1970s) song titled `Rat Race´, sang of just that and coming from Coventry, they were neighbours to the UB40 boys. Both bands in their own words and with their own distinctive rhythms, were both definitely singing off the same song sheet. This song sheet has become the backdrop and sound track to my life!

So, as I said before, school work went on the sidelines and the quest for musical knowledge then took over. Gigs were without a shadow of a doubt, the highlight of my days in those years. Ska and Reggae really took off in Gran Bretaña and it was fabulous dance music. Friday nights were magic then and it was through the DJs really, that we all began to discover the old original Jamaican Ska artists.

The late, great Bob Marley, will ever be one of the greatest transmitters of message through song in my opinion. There is so much wisdom in his words, that it would surely pain him much to know that forty years on from his death, we have advanced not one tiny step.

Our British bands like The Specials and UB40, personified the multi cultural harmony within their own ranks, being as they were, of varying origins and complexions. I do not know that I have ever thought of anyone with a different complexion to me, as being anything other than a fellow human being like me! End of quote.

Having become completely isolated in my own life, confinement did not change my routine much. Day dreaming I had bought many beautiful properties, Mi Lady as I was, with an unlimited budget! The Calipha of Medina Azahara and Mi Lady of Norfolk fused together and really started making changes! This is what happens when you have no contact with human beings and no opportunity to exchange realities. You build your own happy world for real human beings like you to live in. 

ON GOING RESTORATION WORK OUTSIDE THE MEZQUITA DE CÓRDOBA!

My LIVING, WORKING, BREATHING motto would be my guide always. I would learn from my Caliphas and Mi Ladies but I would get the right balance, of course! I would be thinking of redistribution of wealth and good fortune. Formerly, the estates owned by the nobles of the land, were employment hubs. When run properly they really can employ many people in many different areas of skill. The money from the big house actually ran through the pockets of all the surrounding communities.

We had to revive the country estates but this time with green ethics and morally correct employment and conditions. We needed to bring back the value of country living and draw people back to the rural areas. How were we to do that if there was no employment to be had? City living is for those who really want it. All those like myself who would have so loved to have been able to return and work in their home areas, very likely will want to do so more now than in their younger years.

I know I do! I have lived for a time in Paris, London and Barcelona. Three very large and crowded cities, which house all that is unnecessary to me now! I did not enjoy any of the three at any moment at all. The three were equally dangerous, equally evil, equally depraved and equally filled with rural remnants from all over the world. HELL on Earth! Never again will I live in a city in Europe!

The future for me is the countryside, the real world, the world where the concrete jungles have not yet spread. As country folk in Norfolk, we have always worked hard to protect our natural environment, so exquisitely beautiful as it is. Ecology must become our major employer. I would work outdoors every day of my life given the opportunity.

Are you city or country? Man-made concrete jungle or green, leafy rural paradise? The cities of this world are doomed to collapse. That is why we must begin reforming our rural areas and creating the employment which as yet does not exist. Our employment is centered on the man-made world and not the natural world. That is what must change.

Would you return to live in deep countryside again? Do you feel a need for city living? What about the cost of city living compared to rural living? It is all down to employment options, not a personal choice sadly. In my next post I will move into chapter seven entitled LIVING, WORKING, BREATHING and start outlining some of my plans for my real green world.

And, you can find my book which is now on sale on the Amazon sites with these links: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN Paperback and ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN e-book

Thank you for reading. Please FEEL welcome to air your thoughts in the comment space below the post or make communication via the contact box in the right-hand panel, where there is also a follow tab, if you wish to keep up to date with my Trains of Thought. Until the next time, happy learning.

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WHERE TO FIND HOPE IN THIS UGLY MAN-MADE WORLD?

IS THERE ANY CHANCE OF FINDING HOPE IN A SEEMINGLY HOPELESS SITUATION! Post No.12 (A 9 minute read) 

I wonder if any of you readers can feel my frustration through my words. Even as I was living through these early days of confinement and the accompanying fear and frustration, I found my own scope of perception amplifying by the day. I had never had any faith in MAN-KIND. But even HE was able to shock me with HIS total adamancy that life had to go on as usual. 

IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR MY PUPPY? A TWELVE YEAR OLD TRYING 3D!!

We saw here in Spain just how underfinanced our health service was and how understaffed it was also. All the deficiencies were left glaringly visible. The decades of under-achieving politicians, to put it politely, are responsible for the deterioration of a nation and its public services. The Chinese were building new hospitals in record time in order to cope with the initial flood of infected people. 

Nowhere else in this world was able to react as the Chinese nation did. They pulled out all the stops and to add to that, just as I predicted they would, then proceeded to supply the whole world with the necessary equipment to aid their labour too!

This medical health crisis was going to come down to MONEY? Yes, it was! Could a nation afford to buy all the necessary equipment? NO, NO and NO! As such, our poor medical staff were all seriously exposed to the very worst working conditions that could be imagined. This was about every individual making decisions for themselves. 

In whom could you believe and so place your faith in their word and so find hope? My mother placed her faith in science, those who know! In spite of living in Gran Bretaña, she remains still COVID-19 free. She knew that she fell into the vulnerable group and put herself into confinement even before the order became official! The fittest of the fit shall survive but it will be because of the decisions that they take for themselves. 

Mental fitness, this was all about mental fitness. Could you understand the gravity of the situation and as such, make good choices for yourself? Sadly, owing to mixed messages, coupled with the general level of ignorance in Spain and Europe as a whole, mental fitness has been shown to be our great deficit!

After a couple of turbulent years politically speaking here in Spain, we had at last shifted the corrupt conservative leadership and got a coalition government in situe. I still have hope in them but this was something that no one could have known how to deal with, it was a first time for all those living in Europe. Not so mother Africa or Asia or South America, oh, no! This was just another one to add to the already very long list of lethal virus´ and diseases that they live with on a daily basis.

Diseases, virus´ and sicknesses that have been completely eradicated from Europe. How refreshing therefore, for me to see that Africa was so little affected by comparison. The fittest of the fit shall survive, they always will! 

I was so wound up whilst writing, I am remembering that now as I am reviewing my first book myself, as I can find no one as yet interested in reading it and so I am reviewing it myself. I felt so damned helpless just watching on! Why can you not do this? Why do you not do that? Rock and a hard place! I know. When you have a poverty stricken nation such as Spain, you literally cannot stop the man-made machine.

We have a regular five million unemployed, that was now going to double! We were heading for an economic disaster as well here! Around half of the population (the full-time workers), were able to receive financial help. The other thirty five million part-timers and illegal workers like myself, had nothing and no opportunity to make any money either. An increase in crime was inevitable and yes, many of those millions of unemployed are now professional thieves, it is now a full-time employment!

We were told that some 54% of the nation´s wealth was in the hands of 1% of the population. That has been recently revised and it is now 64% of the nation´s wealth that is in the hands of just 1% of this population. Brutal statistics indeed! The 99% of the population have lost 10% of their accumulated wealth and it has been absorbed by that 1%. COVID-19 and all of the disturbance created by it, has enabled the wealthiest to become even more wealthy at the expense of the very poor.

As a result we now have five million needing food given them every day just to stay alive. We have FOOD POVERTY, we have FUEL POVERTY, we have moved ever closer to becoming a fully third world nation again. That is the medium term future for Spain if it does not wake up. 

Much depends therefore, on the short term decisions made by this government made up of human beings. The leader of whom is Pedro Sanchez. He was slow to start but did do a XI, as I now call doing the right thing! 

I quote myself from chapter five:  

The Spanish president comes out and speaks to the nation and tells us that he has put his group of experts together and will now be following their instructions. HOPE, our president had come down off his high horse, recognized that he did not have a clue what to do and asked for help! You can be sure of course, that the experts were advising him long before he decided to take their advice! So, we have been working on the `better later than never´ philosophy!

Having let the virus run rampant to an almost unmanageable proportion, he passes the buck! But if as the Chinese president, he can recognize that he has been at fault in his decision making, there he opens his path to his future as our leader. He has accepted his responsibility and is now leading with great humbleness and visible sadness at this horrendous loss of life and with firm, calm assurance. Urging us all to think as one nation and begin to care AGAIN!  End of quote.

We needed to be asked to care AGAIN? Insinuating that we were not caring of course and he was right in asking us to care AGAIN because no, we do not CARE about any other than our ownselves in Europe. No one was prepared to make any sacrifices until pushed to do so. How sad is that? " No, sorry Mr. President but I have got to see the mates later, we have got to get drunk and make fools of ourselves. We cannot live without that, now be reasonable!" Those mixed messages, the worst of which was the, "Young people will not be affected by this virus!" Hence the youth having no reason (as they saw it) to stay in!!

This was coming down to the character of our leaders, their own personal integrity as people was displayed as non-existent in the majority of cases. The female leaders of the world really did lead in a very different way this COVID-19 crisis!

I quote myself again: 

The trouble is, so many of this world´s males find themselves in situations or jobs, that they do not have any preparation for! So maybe that is why they feel the `pressure cooker´ effect, as I call it! They are IN! They have got the job that they were after and the timer is turned on! They are up against the clock! How much can they benefit from this job before the timer goes off? Because they know that when the timer goes off, everyone will be expecting a good meal. All sat round the table ready and waiting! So, the lid of that pressure cooker has got to come off and the contents therein, be revealed! 

Having never made a meal in his life, would he have known what ingredients to put in the cooker in the first place? No, but that does not mean that he could not have come up with the goods if he had, let us say, a few trained cooks in the team! If he had asked them, they would certainly have told him and to boot, a multitude of different concoctions to meet every palate and taste!

A leader must become a different person, or maybe I should say that perhaps different people should become our leaders. People who know how to listen to their wise and learned scholars! People who know that they themselves do not know all and will invariably need to collude with experts and others, to find all the information and detail required to make proper, balanced decisions which will have positive benefits for all.  End of quote.

I myself found my own mind absolutely racing at this period in time. I had nothing to do but think. There will have been others like myself, who will have enjoyed having so much spare time at home to really get stuck into thinking and learning. For want of human contact, I decided to use my brain to begin plotting the NEW WORLD. My first book is the result of all that time thinking!

Can you see the difference that character makes to leadership? Do you think female leadership is a positive factor? Does your leader listen to their wise and learned scholars? Did your leader have to come down off his high horse? Or did you have a female leader and how were their decisions made?

Next post will be about chapter six entitled REALITY CHECK and I will do just that. I really felt that it was so important to be making a permanent reminder of these tragic happenings because time does have us move away from these dramatic events which are so life changing and for many, that change has become a permanent one. Those who have LONG-COVID-19, those who do not recover fully! That is my greatest fear. To add a permanent debilitating health problem to my already disastrous situation.

Thank you for reading. Please FEEL welcome to comment or make communication. There is a comment space below the post. In the right-hand panel you can find the contact box and just beneath it is the follow tab, try keeping up to date with my trains of thought! Stay virus free and ensure that your long-term health is not compromised! 

This book can be found with these Amazon links: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN Paperback and ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN e-book

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THE COSTLY CONSEQUENCES OF INDECISION!

INDECISION AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF INDECISION! Post No.11 (A 12 minute read) 

Good morning to all, the sunshine begins to breakthrough the early morning clouds here and another warm day with a high of 24ºC to look forward to. At the same time, the snows have begun to fall in the Ukraine and Russia, where the cost of gas and electricity is by the by, they are completely without energy supplies in far too many areas. My dear friend in Africa has now been three months with no electric supply to his neighbourhood. The supply cannot meet the demand!!!

A ROOM WITH A VIEW! THE SUN RISING ON THE MEZQUITA DE CÓRDOBA, SPAIN.

These are times of big decision making for sure. The dirty fossil fuelled, man-made world, has got to be brought down!! Man-kind though, was never a good decision maker, hence the struggles world wide to exist in any kind of comfort and stability.

I loathe man-kind! It breaks my heart that I have to dedicate all my energy (clean, green, positive energy), talking exclusively about man-kind and trying to reveal HIM to you ALL, wherever you are in this world, that you should have no doubts left in your mind as to who is the reason for all that is negative and detrimental to the overall health and well being of the planet Earth and all that live upon it.

It has to be done, someone has to tell their truth and I have taken it upon myself to do just that. Hopefully in an entertaining way because no, man-kind as a subject matter, really does not make nice reading. My own literary skills (I hope) will stretch as far as they FEEL wise to do so but I will not make excuses for man-kind and I will certainly not support HIM ever!

Today I am talking of my third chapter titled INDECISION. I have already mentioned the Maimónides quote "The risk of making a poor/erroneous decision is preferable to the paralysis of indecision." I had begun to see that every leader in times long gone by, was surrounded by their wisest people. Maimónides in his day, was one of the wisest men at the Calipha´s court. Where were our modern day Maimónides´? Why were our leaders not surrounded by the wise anymore?

Bearing in mind that I am writing at this point still in our period of confinement, I could see that this was exactly what was needed. This COVID-19 outbreak was not a political issue, it was a serious health issue and so required the lead to come from within the medical and scientific community. The politicians deal with money, not human life or human stability! Somewhat late in the day, it was indeed the scientific community who took control of the situation.

I found on returning from Córdoba in the February, that there was a modern day Maimónides and I will now introduce you all to him, lest you know him not as yet! Dr. Michael J. Ryan! Well, I could write volumes about this gentleman, what a career, what a brilliant human being he is indeed. He is a trauma surgeon and epidemiologist by training. He entered into the World Health Organization in 1996 and is now the executive director of the WHO emergencies program.

I first discovered this incredibly wise and intelligent man whilst he was giving a conference with other virological experts with regards to our COVID-19 epidemic. Oh, he knows the only way to act is FAST. These were his exact words. 

I quote Dr. Michael J. Ryan:  

"You must be the first mover; you need to go after the virus. Move fast and have no regrets. If you need to be right before you move, you will never win. Perfection is the enemy of the good when it comes to emergency management. Speed trumps perfection. The problem that we have in society at the moment is that everyone is afraid of making a mistake. Everyone is afraid of the consequence of error. But the greatest error is not to move. The greatest error is to be paralyzed with the fear of failure."   End of quote.

How true his words are and were at just that moment in time. As yet, the whole world was trying to play the blame game and behaving ruthlessly towards the Chinese nation. I know that we had COVID-19 here in my town in December 2019!!! We now know that waste water samples collected in Paris, France in the month of June 2019, contained COVID-19. The same applied to waste water samples in Barcelona, Spain in the month of July 2019! This started in Europe, make no mistake!

Fortunately for the whole world, the Chinese nation were conducting in depth studies on this particular virus. It was a known virus but its transmissibility from animals to humans, was as yet unknown. This is what scientists do with their working hours. They try and find the truth of all things. Yes, it was a member of the scientific team who was the Wuhan root but not the European root. Oh, no! In the UK, we had already buried people who had died from COVID-19. But it did not have an official name as yet in Europe.

Those deaths, as so many others in the early stages of awareness, were attributed to pneumonia and bronchial conditions. But of course, the staff treating these bronchial conditions were all being infected too. This was down to underlying health as to whether you sickened and displayed symptoms and so sought help, or whether you really did not even know that you had a viral infection. Whilst passing the blame is a white-man´s go to tactic, I hope that one day we can know why that virus was in Europe in the summer of 2019!

We can assume that the issue was covered up, that is the typical man-made response to anything unpleasant. It was that decision to cover up and play down this lethal virus, that allowed it to run rampant all over the world. The Chinese leader was no exception but it was HE, who was able to come down a rung or two and recognize that he had done wrong in trying to cover up information which the general public had every right to know.

I quote myself from chapter four:  

It needed a bold move by a very bold man, to save China´s day and they can be PROUD, yes, I said PROUD, that their leader swallowed his pride, came clean over his attempt to silence and cover up the findings of these brilliant and well meaning workers of his nation and admit that he had wrongly handled what had been a bud in time for nipping. By coming clean, he could, if he listened to all his wise women and men, still pull back to a manageable degree, this quickly spreading virus.

And that, leaders of this world, is how China managed to get moving in some of the biggest operations that I have seen in my life time. Their leader did in fact take up his role as true leader and began to lead his people to a better footing. If he feared his demise once this all got out of the bag, does that not show an intelligent mind working? He could have gone out like every other failed male leader before him or he could do as he has. Step up to leadership and lead the people properly. But lead them armed with the truth.  End of quote.

With the truth of our real situation coming to full light, there were those who took it very seriously, like the Chinese and those who actually laughed in the face of medical expertise! I quote myself again:

So why do our modern leaders feel that they can make decisions without any of their wise women and men´s contributions? If you read through Dr. Ryan´s words, you would see some of the answers. FEAR, yes FEAR! Fear of getting it all publicly wrong and so doing nothing! What do our leaders take us for as citizens? Are we really so stupid and pathetic that the, oh, so important truths of this world are ever concealed from us? Are we unable to deal with the truth? I would hazard a guess that we would all of us decent citizens of this world, struggle with some of our government´s present and past truths!!

You see, Spain has ever been a corrupt country, as are many others, hence the absent hope in any government here. The day that some truths come our way, will be a fine one, though we will not enjoy knowing all of the wrong doings of each and every government, but if we are ever to move forward here, as every other country in the world, we need honesty! We need leaders coming clean, no more brushing it all under the carpet, yet another load of sticking plasters and then pass the buck to another!!!  End of quote.

As the little people, we could see the dishonesty all around us. Were there any honest leaders in the whole world? Yes, we found some! For the greater part female, of course. But Europe did not believe that it would suffer or did they just not care how many suffered? It is the latter of course, man-kind does not lament loss of human life. HE is a breeder! HE just breeds more to fill those gaps! We are as tools to HIM, HE will just breed replacements. Homo Erectus continues to exist sad to say!! 

I quote myself again: 

For that simple reason, this virus has now travelled to almost every country in the world. THE PARALYSIS OF INDECISION!! Well, every twenty-four hours of delay has sadly meant a lethal rise in the contact rates and deaths.

Having taken a break for dinner and a catch up on the evening news, I can sadly with much rage in my heart, tell you that here in Spain, we have now lost 14,000 people who were living in CARE homes. My rage and pain constrict my throat so that I cannot speak coherently.

Dr. Ryan and the WHO experts warned the world of the vulnerability of our senior citizens, particularly those with underlying health issues! Why do you usually go into a nursing care home? Those 14,000 dear souls did not set a foot outdoors, did they? Off their own steam, I am sure they would have legged it out of there but heartbreakingly, they became sitting ducks! The very same staff that care for them, coming and going everyday and one by one, infecting them all.  End of quote.

Make the elderly and infirm your priority WHO had said. No one took any note of that! Fourteen thousand people dead in their beds and wheelchairs, it was a MASSACRE! Though this was just the warm-up sad to say! On ending this fourth chapter, in Spain we had seven thousand people in intensive care who were fighting for their lives and a confirmed 98,000 active cases.

I had been waiting and waiting for someone to make the right move. Fortunately we had the solid advice of the experts like Dr. Michael J. Ryan and great leaders like President Xi Jinping to lead the way. This was never a Chinese issue exclusively, oh, no! I do not know where this started exactly but the evidence that we have does clearly show that this began in Europe. Knowing man-kind as I do, I could well believe that this was created in Europe with a view to the deliberate spreading of it. Viral war-fare!

We can only be grateful to the Chinese scientific community first and foremost, who were prepared to take on the task of studying this potentially lethal virus and so leading the medical way forward. But the logistical response that was China´s, left no doubt as to why that nation is known, quite rightly, as the cradle of wisdom. The rest of the world accepts hundreds of deaths daily from COVID-19. Not so the Chinese who have had continual criticism with regards to their human rights policies!!!

The hypocrisy of the west is absolute! The white man-kind convinces HIMSELF of HIS own righteousness. It is as absurd as it is laughable. I have one living with me and above me! This is why our lives are so TURBULENT and barely tolerable. Man-kind and his inability to EVOLVE. 

I knew that this paralysis of indecision would mean death and the degree of death would be totally dependent on how long a leader waited to act. Remember the then President of the USA Donald Trump and his "Relax, it is all under control!" One million, one hundred and five thousand American citizens have lost their lives because of COVID-19. Yes, many of those would have relaxed!! Those mixed messages added to poor leadership decisions. They are close now to having notched up one hundred million and five hundred thousand cases in the USA. It really was under control was it not?

They had eighty-five deaths from COVID-19 yesterday and another thirteen thousand plus, picked up the virus as well. They currently have around one million and four hundred thousand people actively infected, three thousand of which are in intensive care. Yes, the experts said in February 2020 that the USA would lose more than a million lives if they did not act immediately. The paralysis of indecision has left the experts so sadly, spot on!

The same can be said for my birth nation of Gran Bretaña. Their predictions were a quarter of a million deaths if they did not make some good decisions and fast. The then Prime Minister Boris Johnson, told the nation that they had nothing to worry about, it would all be wrapped up in twelve days. It was not wrapped up in twelve days. He was in intensive care himself with the virus even before those twelve days were up!

The UK statistics are no longer being counted but they are in line with the USA´s numbers. There are just twenty four million confirmed cases counted but nothing has been added to those statistics in more than eight months now. The quarter of a million deaths though have occurred and there will be many more deaths from COVID-19 too. They care not at all!

Spain where I live, decided to stop counting too. And yes, I will not even bother with the confirmed stats because I know that they are just the few who were suffering from symptoms. The deaths though are half of the British, that is credit to the Spanish medical fraternity. They have worked as none other than the Chinese to save lives. The best of the world in the medical field, one of the few things that a Spaniard could be proud of. 

China still continues to try and eradicate this virus from within their midst. The only country actively trying to do so. As yet, they have not passed three hundred thousand infections. That is to say that more people have died in my birth nation from COVID-19, than have actually been infected with COVID-19 in China. And you B******S want to give lectures on human rights? The loss of Chinese citizens after three whole years of this pandemic, has been limited to five thousand and two hundred!!! They are currently fighting another outbreak, as of today they have 27,000 cases active.

CARING ABOUT HUMAN LIFE. THAT IS WHY WE MUST NOT HAVE MAN-KIND AS OUR LEADER. HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT HUMAN LIFE, ONLY HIS OWN. THIS IS WHY HE NEEDS REMOVING FROM LEADERSHIP AND ULTIMATELY, FROM THIS WORLD!!

How have you fared so far in this COVID-19 pandemic? How did the leader in your country lead your people? Was your leader guilty of the paralysis of indecision? Have you contracted COVID-19 yourself or know others who have? I am still COVID-19 free and it is my intention to keep it that way too!

Thank you for reading. Please FEEL welcome to comment or make communication. I have a contact box and a follow tab at the top of the right-hand panel and there is a comment space below the post. In my next blog I will give you an insight into chapter five entitled, IS THERE ANY HOPE? Whilst Donald Trump and Boris Johnson were leading and many others like them, where could one find any hope? 

Until then, happy learning!!! If anyone would like to read my first book, you can find it with these links to Amazon: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN Paperback and ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN e-book

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COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN; AN ONGOING THING?

WHY ARE OUR COMMUNICATING SKILLS BREAKING DOWN? Post No.10 (A 10 minute read) 

Good morning to you readers, another fine day dawns, though how one can rise to each new dawn is the mystery! With only one´s own will to communicate as their driving force. Each day for the last two and a half years, my exclusive mission has been to try and make contact with other fellow human beings and possibly enter into dialogue and eventually have a CONVERSATION! Yes, I know INFJs that is a scandalous idea but I cannot get it out of my head!

My own mission does help me to understand much of our collective routes, as world citizens, across the globe. Some running away from others for their own survival and some tracking down others, unable to survive without those others! My theory of course, but I FEEL that I am right. The females and their offspring tried to give their males the slip and the males have become as predators, sniffing us out and tracking us down.

That is all for my third book though, so I really have got some work to do if anyone is going to be able to follow my trains of thought! Back to book one which is the bulb of my Trains of Thought series (as will be), the roots are me and I have remembered where I initially set my roots and where I am actually now, completely up-rooted. Biding time trying to think of the future and a day when I will be able to get into action again and see even if I wish to take root anywhere or whether I go wandering again.

MY VERY OWN FIRST BOOK!!

In this the third chapter of my first book, I am looking at the performance of man-kind in leadership and how it is HIS own character and lack of integrity, that is to blame for most of the entire world population´s misery. In Almería province where I live, the standard of living is percentually significantly lower than other regions of Spain. Almería has the tag of `poor cousin of Spain´. So sad when the poor cousin named Almería is expected to grow food for all of Spain and the greater part of Europe too.

Hence being home to the only desert in Europe, Tabernas Desert. Yes, we, I correct myself, they, man-kind, are directly responsible for land desertification. The poverty is high in this region, the majority of employment is seasonal, being found in the agricultural and tourism sectors only. It is the `make hay while the sun shines´ philosophy that we live by down here. Irregular finances, irregular employment and hence, irregular dreams and aspirations! 

From my own book I quote: 

So, how has it all got so out of hand? Simple! One bad man-made decision after another! Century upon century of bad man-made decisions! Not one thinks to clear up HIS mess behind HIM and of course no, HE will not admit that HE got it wrong and talk us through HIS mistakes, so that maybe we could learn from them!

And that is where the big problem lays, the male character! I mean, the leader of a country gets voted into leadership. HE makes a whole load of bad decisions, gets kicked out of power and put out to grass with a fat pension. If only we could all walk away from our mistakes so easily but for most of us, it requires toughing things out until we have put them right again, does it not?

So why does the TOP DOG have the luxury of walking away from HIS mess with a golden hand-shake? HE should have to stay and sort it all out before HE is allowed to go off to grass and depending on how HE does, will determine the quantity of grass that HE takes with HIM. Sounds good to me! OUR world I believe, is just one long run of HIS-STORY, yes, HIS-STORY. I reckon it is way past time for a good dose of HER-STORY going down to start balancing things out.  End of quote.

We all have to adapt to the conditions created by the accumulated weight of man-kind, HE who has tried to dominate ALL at ALL times. It was the 21st of April 2020 when I wrote down those particular words. I had recently come back from Córdoba with my mind full of my own uprising plans but then COVID-19 came and took over the lives of everyone in this world.

I quote again from my book: 

Then COVID-19 begins to spread all over the world. I say begins, because as I am writing today, it is 21st April 2020 and as such, we are still in our period of three months confinement. Thereby enjoying the spring warmth on the terrace with a task in hand, I set about writing. As sadly, champing at the bit as I am, my stable door is solidly bolted right now and so I shall have to bide my time until it is safe to venture out again.

We can also see here, that our year will bear no resemblance to an average year as we do move so much on tourism and many nationals with holiday homes. So the book seemed to be my only option right now!

If only the world´s leaders had seen fit to bolt a few stable doors earlier on, we could be living a different day today. What is staggering me though, is the fact that I have been reading many of our male leader´s minds since this crisis began. I have been able to pre-empt their foolish decisions because they always do the same. 

COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN, IT IS ALWAYS THE SAME! It was not difficult for one sat on the OUTSIDE LOOKING IN. I think even as I speak as a woman, have women not had to sit on the outside of every decision ever taken? Looking in on those making the decisions that we would all have to live by, like it or not!  End of quote.

Equality; it is way past time for females to be at the head of leadership. It has been the continual, steady pushing of each new generation of mothers to encourage their daughters to seek independence from males, that has seen more and more females in the work place, although equal wages are still waiting to be applied. Though as a country, here in Spain, we have no less than 65% of our government who are female. Times are beginning to change.

I begin to assess just how different female leadership would be simply because we would be leading for all the nation that we led. Not just serve ourselves to the country´s finances!!! We would apply common sense to our decision making as opposed to the age-old philosophy of man-kind, which is, "How much money do I stand to make out of the venture?" MONEY, man-kind´s driving force!!

I quote myself again: 

Whatever happened to common sense? Gone with good education systems I think! Another of our massive failings in modern times! But how can we make any headway when all the decisions are man-made? Does anyone out there really want to live in this man-made HOLLYWOOD STYLE, SCIENCE FICTION VIRTUAL REALITY WORLD?

I want to have a real world to live in. Oh, how I wished that all the factories could close down, take all the cars off the roads and actually see the difference without our man-made contamination mechanisms. Oh, how I wished that man-kind could wake up and see HIMSELF for what HE really is! How many men can actually do that?  End of quote.

It was down to the actual leaders that each country had at that moment in time, that the COVID-19 decisions were what they were! The world wide scientific community was screaming out at the top of their voices but what choices did our leaders make. Sadly for so many nations, the decision was to cover up initially and pretend that we had nothing to worry about. So many mixed messages, communication breakdown and yes, the stable door WAS bolted, but only after all the horses had been running rampant for three whole months!!!

This was going to be an absolute human catastrophe! I was going to witness the unnecessary loss of many lives but not even I could know that it would be so dramatic. I had to believe that some good could come out of this dramatic man-made disaster. What was so crucial though was a change in male psychology, there was no longer any doubt about that! 

Human, NO, man-made disasters, do always have a positive effect somewhere but maybe you have to search hard to see where that may be. There have indeed been many positive gains here in Spain, not least our own President Pedro Sanchez, who I will mention further on. We did not see all the gains that could have been made though and as such, we are now polluting more than we were prior to the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic at the beginning of 2020!!

The mixed messages were so detrimental. Having started off with, "There is nothing to worry about!" Then moving to, "This is do or die!" Well, really you had every option in between those two taken. That Maimónides quote in Córdoba kept ringing in my ears, I give it to you again, "The risk of taking a poor/wrong decision is preferable to the paralysis of indecision." How true it is that the paralysis of indecision of leaders world wide, led to massive losses of life in this initial stage of semi-ignorance.

But was it not the belief that as Europeans, we would be alright? WE would not succumb to a VIRUS, now would WE? WE are so healthy and strong!!!! The fittest of the fit shall survive my friends and they will do so because of the decisions that they take for themselves and others around them, no more, no less. These must be a combination of physical and psychological decisions. 

Yes, I can appreciate that no one living in Europe had any experience with contagious diseases, barring all sexually transmitted diseases because sad to say, in spite of awareness and information available on these diseases, we find that here in Spain, the cases of sexually transmitted diseases are increasing year on year.

When your only `go to´ learning guide is a social network, well, virtually real guidance, will of course, only be a virtually real guide. The blind leading the blind, into an ever deeper blindness and an ever deeper state of ignorance! Can you FEEL virtual reality, no? That is why the `virtual´ part applies, it is almost real minus the one crucial factor that is, it is not real and so you have no real sensations FELT. 

You did not absorb anything from that virtually real whatever. You had a superficial representation of what maybe you could FEEL if you went and FELT it for yourself. The OBSERVANT character, the follower, the one who has to copy as they have no ideas of their own, so try and FEEL what others are supposedly FEELING and saying how good it FEELS!

You may remember that this INFJ-T runs off INTROVERTED, INTUITION and JUDGING by FEELING predominantly, as such I have no interest whatsoever in anything that I cannot FEEL personally. But neither do I need to watch what I might want to FEEL or not, as though I had no mind of my own. No, I know so well all that I have FELT and what I wish to FEEL again. Running through your life story as I have in this book, has you get in touch with all that you have FELT through your life.

I have FELT my way always by my own Intuition, I am not and have never been a follower. I know where to find the FEELINGS that I am wanting to know. They do not come from watching a horror/terror film with people being tortured and killed in a hundred and one different ways for example. I do not need to exchange morse code messages with virtual real people in disguise. Those FEELINGS I am far too amply familiar with. 

Depth, quality, meaning, anything else, why stress yourself out? Can you see that the stereotypical male character is the bane of all? Do you think that the female addition to leadership is a positive sign? Can you see how women can make serious differences in the way that they lead? Leading for a whole nation as opposed to just those few who support you? Why do our leaders have the privilege of creating catastrophes and then being able to walk away from them? 

In my next post I will move on with chapter four - INDECISION. Elaborating on the dangers of indecision in leadership, in particular in the unusual situation that we had found ourselves in with this lethal virus COVID-19 in our midst.

Thank you for reading and please FEEL free to comment or make communication, I would love to have some feedback, I truly would. You can use the comment space below the post or the contact box in the right-hand panel, under which is the follow tab, should you wish to follow my trains of thought. I can with the greatest happiness share with you all today that yes, a human being has given me some of their time willingly, just as my time was given willingly, ever a good start. Reciprocity, we mentioned the word, positive signs!

I have received my first contact to my blog. The very first person who has read my blogs and FELT the desire to contact me. Confidentiality being what it is and disgression being one of my typical characteristics, I can only say THANK YOU Ms. C for becoming my very first contact. I hope that you will continue to enjoy following the trains of thought of this `outcast´ INFJ-T. 

I would so love to be able to put that Assertive back to my INFJ but I do not get much encouragement to do so! Thank you for considering me, that is so very deeply appreciated! My first book is now on sale on Amazon: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN Paperback and ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN e-book

Other INFJ bloggers can be found here: https://lifestyle.feedspot.com/infj_blogs

MONEY AND WHERE TO FIND IT!

SO LITTLE MONEY!!! CUTTING COSTS! Post No.9 (A 7 minute read) 

Getting back in touch with my own childhood and my journey through life to date, I could see just how fortunate I had been to have been afforded a warm, comfortable home to live in. A very safe and wholesome environment in which to live, surrounded by some pretty good examples of civil human beings. The best start in life for any child most surely.

I then had my own stint at parenting and tried very hard myself to provide a similar comfort level and access to all the learning opportunities that I had been given. Spain had been a very family friendly place and still continues to be, so it seemed a far better choice for a young child as I saw things! My boy is tri-lingual, completely integrated and was able to grow up in a safe environment, which also had a marvellous climate.

Outdoor activities abounded, we had the sea on our doorstep and it all came at a significantly lower cost than in the UK. Sadly, for me at least, children grow into young adults and will seek their own independence, eventually moving out of the family home. Maybe not even contemplating the void that they will inevitably leave behind them. I felt completely lost, I did! I would turn to speak with him and go looking around the home for him. Where was he?

Of course, he will not be coming home today, or tomorrow! I would sit in his bedroom and cry. Did I ever envisage this day? NO! I did not. It was the beginning of this, my new era of life. Not an era that I would ever have chosen myself. The soul searching that occurs is immense. Having spent two decades with this precious person, all the laughter, fun, silly things, their voice, it seems as a death. You have lost your child definitively!

You are no longer a mother full time. What am I now then? So the soul searching begins, what is the rest of my life now going to be about? Well, as you may find out reading my book, I did not make my own choices at that time and as a result, I am still soul searching and asking myself, what is the rest of my life going to be about?

Chapter two is titled MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!! That all deciding commodity, which possession of, enables you to make your own decisions and lack of, means you have to go with the flow. But only as far as that little flow will allow you! Therefore, money is my prime occupation. In the back of my mind at all times is finding a source of income from somewhere so that I can once again make my own decisions. I figure though that we would do well all of us, whatever our circumstances, to look at reduction of our own outgoing monies as far as is possible.

TEN MOROCCAN DIRHAMS AND A HANDFUL OF COINS FROM THE PAST!

The last twelve months have seen pretty well all of Europe suffering from dramatic increases in fuel costs, leaving far too many in FUEL POVERTY land. Sitting as we are bathed in sunshine here in southern Spain, I cannot comprehend the lack of initiative regarding renewable energies. In particular solar energy. Our quality of life is already dire. We are suffering already from high fuel costs, we were already being very tight with our energy usage. 

But we have been pushed even harder now, oh, yes! Deaths from hypothermia will be noticeable come January here. There were a lot last year. I myself fear each winter and my survival possibilities. The sunny doorstep being life-preserving. The bottom line is now that many of us will be using no heat sources at all. In this second chapter, I look at those who could, because they have their own properties and finances available to them, look to improve their long term quality of life.

It is the senior citizens who are the most vulnerable to death by hypothermia, should it not be in a government´s interests to ensure that senior citizens are being given ample guidance in these new technologies and a financial help for those (the vast majority), who will never be able to pay for the installation themselves? Actually help all those struggling pensioners to improve the standard of their own home and reduce their fuel costs by switching them to renewable sources.

The science world is warning us on a daily basis that we cannot continue to live as we do. We must make serious changes. But no one must be left behind because of lack of finances!!! The ultimate goal is to reduce our dependency on dirty fossil fuels. Should it not therefore, be in every government´s plans to improve the standard and quality of living of all these senior citizens, at the same time making inroads on the reduction of electric and gas requirements.

These are all positives. The better able senior citizens are to live in their own homes, the less demand there will be for places in care homes. If our senior citizens are living comfortably and not suffering great physical hardship on a regular basis, then surely they will, with their improved quality of life, require possibly less medical attention too. A saving for the national health service as well. 

Though of course, this all comes down to money, does it not? Whether you have any or not? The greater part of the population will be of the `NOT´ faction! The government itself must lead the way, meaning that public buildings must all be ecologized, hopefully reducing those costs and of course, reducing substantially the usage of electric energy. Should that not be welcome to a government? Reducing their costs by doing the right thing? For the first time maybe, we are in a position whereby, we could all be making our fortunes simply from doing the right thing somewhere or other!

So, why are we not all busy living, working, breathing then? It will depend exclusively on who your local and national leaders are. No more, no less! If your leader has a will to lead and will listen to the available experts in each field, then change will be yours. If your local leader is like mine here, now into their third term in office, well, I have been here seven and a half years now and there are still the same pieces of scaffolding strewn by the wayside, visible to the passing public, that have been there since my day one here!

In seven and a half years no one can see to those old bits and pieces well, Medina Azahara! I mentioned the Medina Azahara influence, yes, I thought whilst on the Calipha´s terrace, well, you can see as far as you can see. Beyond your range of vision, if you do not go out on progress frequently, you really will not see for yourself what lays just out of your sight! My town was built by the Arabs and was a walled town built on a mountain. Yes, you can see a long way from up there but you cannot see down to where the said building debris lies, oh, no!

And we are expecting them to lead the solar way? That was the question that I was now asking myself. Is that not what we are all doing in truth? Waiting for our leaders to lead us? Well, they do lead us but where? They sure lead us a merry dance, as we say? They sure lead us up an awful lot of dead end streets too? It is time to turn our backs on our leaders and do our own thing? It is back to basics, back to politics, back to anarchy! Back to square one, all the ideas, all the notions and NO bloody money to do anything about it!

Thank you for reading. Please FEEL free to comment or make communication. There is a space below the post, a contact box in the right-hand panel and below that, should you wish to keep up with my trains of thought, give the follow tab a touch! Have you got solar panels installed yet? 

Do you think that our governments should be guiding us as the general public with regards to renewable energies? Are we on our own with this? There are now so many different distributors offering solar installation, how do we know which may be bonafide and those that are complete cowboy outfits?

In my next post I will give you an insight as to the content of chapter three entitled COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN, which as you may guess, examines our poor communication skills. Until then, happy learning!! 

And if you would like to read my book, you can find it with these links: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN Paperback and ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN e-book 

More INFJ reading can be found on this list: https://lifestyle.feedspot.com/infj_blogs

EARLY LEARNING IS ESSENTIAL FOR A YOUNG CHILD!

WHY EARLY LEARNING IS SO IMPORTANT TO AN INFJs HEALTHY DEVELOPMENT! Post No.8 (A 13 minute read) 

Good morning to ALL, it is another fine sunny day here again and my desktop thermometer is telling me that currently the outside temperature is 21ºC. Being the 21st of November, that is a bonus of sorts. Whilst I have still had no communication from anyone, I do not give up hope that maybe that will occur. I do feel that I am on a path of sorts. I have to be my own leader but I know that somehow I have to back track on myself and understand now, what really am I trying to achieve? 

I am in effect, confirming all that I knew previously and doubted. Lack of evaluation, I am needing to be considered as a human being first and foremost. Yes, I know what kind of human being I am but as yet, I have found none who were willing to consider me as a real human being.

If I want any one person to read my books, as I see it right now, first they have to know that I exist. So, I need to become visible in some way. Or as I would prefer it, audible in some way. I FEEL that I know that I look for kindred spirits. I am saying it all through my own life story. It has been my quest since I can remember. I try not to think obsessively about it. I try to accept invisibility but when you FEEL that you have so much to offer, well, then being invisible is a hindrance to say the very least.

I am revealing myself and my thoughts in words and sending myself out for inspection. I no longer think of who may inspect me, or do I? Of course, I do! But for want of close support, do we not have to look further afield, which is what I am attempting to do? So, to continue my personal insight into my own first book, staying in chapter one, I will talk now of the importance of early learning and the influences that I found in my formative years.

CHAPTER ONE - WHO AM I?  -  KEY INFLUENCES.

My home teachers I have already introduced to you but if you are fortunate, you will have extended family members too. That was my case and in these early years of my development, these were all new relationships that required learning new character traits and personalities. My extended family were all good, wholesome people and I was able to share many holidays with them, which gave both my elder sister and I, a whole new sphere of learning. 

ME, MEASURING UP TO THE WILLOW TREE!

They were all teenagers, so were all about the latest tendencies in clothing and music in particular. At home we had 50s rock and roll, jazz and blues playing around us. The 60s music coincided with my language learning. As such, I FEEL as though I have known unwittingly, The Beatles and their song lyrics, since I could talk!! Our father played piano too and so we were exposed to classical musical as well. 

Our aunts and uncle though, were into the music of the 70s. I think of my young years in musical terms. It has been my permanent backdrop to life. All of these new musical additions gave me such a deep musical scope and yet, these were all the personal choices of others.

In the UK, I believe that our music stars are our pillars of society. These are the people that we can easily look up to and admire. Little people doing big things!! Though I never even once entertained the thought of becoming a music star myself, no, that was never my chosen path. Music was though to ever accompany me on my walk through life. It still does! It was in my own teenage years that I began to make my own musical choices.

There was so much `message music´ being written and performed in the late 1970s and it was written by `MY generation´. The foundations of the youth were ever built upon our music and words. Now though, those words were gaining ever greater meaning. Songs were coming charged with truth and meaning. At last there was a generation who were prepared to challenge the PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER ONE (man-kind) by confronting HIM with his own ugly truths.

Punk rock was born and the gloves were off! Man-kind, you have been rumbled!! This generation will not bow to your ideology which is so flawed as to be totally non-void. We can see through you and we will not accept your word as gospel just like every other generation before you. Oh, no!! Their influence in our uprising as non-conformist youths was great indeed. Somewhat sadly I have to say, that these songs ring with the same tone today as they did now some forty plus years ago. That is because nothing has changed since then. The same system continues to exist. The THEM and US!!

The non-conformist becomes a permanent character trait only because you can find little with which to conform. I do not wish to conform to blinkered, short-sighted males leading me up dead-end streets on a permanent basis. I still believe that we could live so much better than we do but if we will conform happily with the little that we are allowed to have in our lives, then we do wrong. We all sell ourselves short of what we could know by way of prosperity, happiness and self-achievement. We settle for very little indeed.

My musical pillars have never let me down, therein their importance to me and their continued influence upon me. They are still the best pick-me up therapy that I know. I was never stuck into any particular musical genre. I am so happy that I was exposed to so many different musical styles and musical folk from so many different eras too.

My watch with mother sessions were very influential too. Oh, wow! Mr. Benn, who knows Mr. Benn? One of my greatest influences for sure! Mr. Benn would go out for a walk into town and there he would go into a fancy dress shop. The shop keeper was dressed in Arab pants, babouche and also wore a fez!! So exotic to me!! Mr. Benn would choose a costume and go into the changing room. On putting on the costume, he would then step through a door and into an adventure that was related to his costume. 

Truthfully, Mr. Benn is one of my biggest influences. He showed me what it is to walk through a door with your eyes wide open and feel your way in a strange new land!! I have been a walker through many doors into many strange new lands in real life and just like Mr. Benn, I had no fear at all. I FELT my way, I followed my instinct just as he did. He had no knowledge of that world, he just followed his natural human instinct to resolve the conflicting issues of this land and restore peace and harmony.

TING!! As if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared, "This way, sir!" and Mr. Benn would go through another door and find himself back in the changing room. He would be somewhat dazed, something that I struggled with too. We know it as CULTURE SHOCK! We have spent time with peoples so different to ourselves, their lives and lands are so different to ours, their ways of thinking are so different to ours and yet it was us, little us, who were able to cross over all those barriers and help resolve those people´s issues. 

The only job that I ever wanted to have! The only job that I have ever FELT was mine! Each visit to the shop would see Mr. Benn try another costume and so have a new experience. Just as I did, he got to like doing this regularly!! But walking home again, seeing all the typical activities going on just as normal, he would begin to doubt his own reality. "Did that really just happen? Did I really just do all of that?" I would undergo the same process, sat on the train watching the rolling countryside of east England going by, FEELING as though I had just dropped in from another planet.

He would put his hand in his pocket and smile, yes, it was all true, it was! His fingers would close around some little object, just a keepsake, just a little reminder of where you have just been! It would be the same for me. I would have henna painting on my ankles and feet, wrists and hands. I did not know how to do that then!! My new rings, bracelets, earrings, no, they certainly do not make them like that here!! Oh, no!! It was all true. So truly beautifully true!

The wonderful, `The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe´ children´s story, continued with the `through the door into a new unknown land´ fancy. The doors of perception! I had no fear of doors and even when taught to fear particular doors, the result was a burning need to investigate!! I was insatiable as a child, so curious about anything new, until it lost my attention. What strikes me as unusual maybe, is just how all of this chapter one, my early years, has never lost my attention. Never! I can sit and be enthralled by Mr. Benn today! The explorer in me was always there!

Colour television came into our world in my early years and so I saw the world in technicolour. Yes, I can just about remember a few programs in black and white but my favourites were in colour. The Herbs were a brightly coloured bunch but it was the human character of Pashana Bedi, an Indian snake charmer who really had me totally mesmerized. He sat and slept on a bed of nails (the stereotyping!!!) and would leave a note tied to a nail if he was away!

MOWGLI just continued to build the desire to talk with animals and understand them. I had been talking and communicating with a dog all my life, it did not seem like a strange concept to me! To add to all of this there were the documentaries. My mother enjoyed so much learning of the wider world and all that lived upon it. I adored watching too all of these incredible colours and sounds, what a wonderful world we had to live in.

Mr. David Attenborough has spent his working career attempting to humanize us all by bringing knowledge and understanding into our homes via his documentation. My partner has commented that the only time I stop talking is when I am watching a documentary. Engrossed, enthralled, stimulated and just loving the passion of my guide through this maybe new, territory for me. Actually listening to real, solid information and facts coming from someone who knows.

The truth; I have always sought the truth of all things and I still do. Lord David Attenborough as he now is, has become a stalwart pillar of our British society and is so representative of all that is good in a male human being, that I consider him to be one of my great influences and a person who I greatly admire, along with his incredible catalogue of natural history classes, as I think of them. These should be used as course material in schools and colleges!

The love of nature was firmly embedded in me as of day one. I long to see the world recover again natural spaces and remove much of man-kind´s concrete jungle world. I was given the pleasure of visiting zoos and wildlife parks, so having the close up experiences but even as David Attenborough was teaching us that these animals needed to be able to roam free, I could understand their change of life from natural to the behind bars. Animal prison as I can now call it!

I had no fear, I was not taught to be afraid of natural spaces and all that lived within, quite the contrary, I was taught to know and understand it all. Knowledge and understanding equal wisdom! The wise do not fear, it is the ignorant who carry so much fear on board. It is the ignorant who shy away from learning, they fear the truth! They fear their own ability to cope with new knowledge, which is why we need to be guided gradually and steadily through our toddler and infant years.

Gradually increasing the depth and importance of our new found learning and being shown how to apply it all as well. Ali Baba and Tales of a Thousand and One Arabian Nights. Back to those baggy pants and babouche again, flying magic carpets and minarets! Oh, I did so want to go flying on magic carpets, I did! Just as the Asian images were so exotic to me, the same can be said for the Arab world. 

Then the film Lawrence of Arabia was seen by me and from that day to this, I knew that Bedouin life in the Sahara was what I wanted. I wanted to marry a beautiful Arab chief like the late actor Omar Sharif and wear my robes and ride camels. My love affair with Arabia was added to my growing love affair with Africa and Asia, I could see clearly my purpose in life. 

I would be like Mr. Benn, I would be as he, a chameleon who could always blend into any surroundings and just like him, I would go and solve everyone´s troubles, wherever they were in the world, providing that it was in Africa, Asia or Arabia!!! 

No, I never really FELT in tune with my fellow countrymen and women outside of the musical fraternity. In spite of the wide availability of learning material, it seemed to me that few people were interested in learning anything beyond the bare minimum, which would enable them to `get by´. Prepared to settle for very little, as I have said. 

Not so I and my quest to explore and find other human beings began. First the circles had to increase in dimension and when born in deep countryside, that is inevitable anyway. You begin with primary school in your home village. Then secondary school in a neighbouring town. Then college in a city and so on. We are destined to increase our circles of exploration as country dwellers. David Attenborough had shown me that wherever I went, if I wanted to see it, I would find the beauty of the natural world and he is right.

As you will maybe see on reading my first book, these were not silly childhood phases, no, these became the essential pillars of my own existence. If it is man-made, then question it? If a male is wearing trousers, question HIM? It is an incredible world that we all live in but how little of it so many of us really know. My mind will be ready and open to learning of the real world until it switches down definitively!

That is what makes a wise person wise, they never stop learning and never stop wanting to learn!! If only we could apply all our accumulated wisdom to the real world instead of wasting our lives trying to adapt to the man-made world, I have no doubt that each and every one of us would be sitting a lot happier!

Thank you for reading. Please FEEL welcome to comment or make communication. I have a comment space below and in the right-hand panel you can see a contact box and a follow tab, should you wish to keep up to date with my trains of thought. Where have your influences come from? Which have been positive influences and which have been negative influences? Have you like I, stayed the same character always? I am happy with the way I have been influenced. It sure beats following the blind up a dead end street!!!

This book is available on Amazon: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN Paperback and ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN e-book

In my next blog, I shall launch into my second chapter entitled MONEY, MONEY, MONEY. Until then, happy thinking!!

Other INFJ blogs can be found on this listing: https://lifestyle.feedspot.com/infj_blogs

 

AN INFANT INFJ IN THE MAKING - A OR T?

WHAT MAKES AN INFANT INFJ ASSERTIVE OR TURBULENT? A PRELUDE TO CHAPTER ONE OF ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN, TITLED, `WHO AM I´? Post No.7 (A 15 minute read) 

Hello and a very good morning to ALL. I have the sunshine back to greet me again this morning, though the rain has been so gratefully received by the parched lands within my view. The colours deepen noticeably after a good rainfall, the change is instantaneous. Fading plants find a new lease of life and those fallen seeds now burst into life with this new moisture available and shoot up above the soil level to take their chances of a good, long, fruitful life.

How well they will grow out in the wild with no direct help or hindrance from humans, will depend on the climatological conditions. They have chosen to rear their heads now as they perceive that the conditions are favourable to growth. They may be right! Surely though, it is this dawn of their lives which is so crucial, is it not? 

If they can grow sturdy and straight in their early stages, they will begin to build their resistance. Rich soil in which to drink up their nutrition, will see them grow from within and favourable balances of sun, shade, wind, rain and snow, will see the outer layer grow resistant to any damaging effects of those meterological conditions.

As children, we do not choose when we are born, do we? Or to whom we are born either! Yet so much of each and every one of us, our very essence, is because of who we were born to and where we were born also. Even as I was deciding to get started on my writing, I could see that many of my seemingly straightforward, simple common sense ideas, were going to come across as rather strange to the typical non-thinking mind. 

So as not to be written off as a raving mad-woman, I decided to give an insight to my readers into my own upbringing, in order that they could see where my ideas had rooted from and why my ideas rooted at all.

Therefore, even before I got into the thick of my churning thoughts, I decided to revisit my home and try and see why I am as I am because it is from that inside of me, that I write. I think I wanted the reader to get a FEEL for me and what had been my life and upbringing. I wanted to build a picture in a reader´s mind of who their narrator was. 

Who was this person talking to them in this frank and honest way? Where the heck did she come from? Did she just drop of another planet? No, I did not! Aptly titled therefore, my first chapter was, `WHO AM I?´

I know myself, that childhood was the most precious time of my life. I know that I was afforded a very stable home which I shared with other very stable people. My own foundations were built upon those of my three 100% Judges, my mother, father and elder sister. With the three of them being very Assertive, I was encouraged to be the same. Turbulent was ever my middle name!!! That you are born with and you learn to cope better with age but our own lack of belief in ourselves is probably our most detrimental niggle! We so crave evaluation and that is the role that my father played so well for me.

He was able to evaluate within what was your capability at that time. He was an artist but he did not expect his toddler children to be as good as him, did he? No, is the answer lest any get my Dad mixed up with another! Because yes, there are those adults who seem to assume that because they can do it, so can their toddler. Having had a toddler to deal with myself, I saw this so clearly but of course, I am honest with myself and I would have flash backs and remember my clumsy attempts at doing the same at the same age as he was.

I would actually be able to compliment him and tell him honestly, that he was doing that far better than I could at his age and that was true in so many cases. He was a gifted child but he had me as his teacher. I was the teacher to him that I never had 24 hours a day. I had my father in the evening and my mother daytime. Mum would get tired of this child and her questioning! I have to hand it to my mother, she would answer up to a point but therein my turbulent sleep time!

I still did not get the point, I was still missing some pieces in that particular jigsaw puzzle and in sleep time, well, I would put all of my older pieces that I loved in their places, I knew where they all went, they were my framework, my boundaries, my family and home. It was trying to fit the new pieces that presented the problem for me. If I understood each piece then I could place it but if there was a piece missing from a clump of joined up pieces, I could see clearly where the gap was. If I had a piece that I did not understand at all, then I had no idea what to do with it.

Once asleep, this picture building process would begin and I would always start with the framework. First would be my sister and dog. The three of us would have spent all day doing lovely things, we would have had much fun and laughs and excitement too. All beautiful positive, warm, sensations of being happy and FEELING secure and deeply loved. I was so keenly aware as a toddler of how much I loved my trio of Judges and how safe they all made me FEEL. I was the little one then! Two going on three as I talk of here.

Then my Dad piece would come in and I would see him pulling into the driveway of our home and putting OUR car in the garage. Me, my sister and the dog, all flying to the front door to greet him and watch him take off his shoes and put on his Moroccan babouches. WOW!!! Poor Dad, hey? What a bombardment of, "We did this and we did that and the dog did this so we did that and then we went and did this" and on and on. Did we ever think to ask our Dad how his day had gone or even if he had had a good day let alone what he had been doing all day out of our sight? I do not think we did at that age. I know we did a little further down the line.

My Dad was my universe, he was all round me in my global picture of myself and my life. I would hear his voice in my mind and know that he was not far from me and whilst that were so, I would never need to have any fear. Then my mother would come into my thoughts and I would take longer placing my Mum piece!!! It depended much on the individual day really and what had been our communications on that day. Here in my swinging Assertive potential and my Turbulent disposition. The father, sister and dog relationships were totally and completely unconditional from day one to the very last day.

My relationship with my mother seemed to be more conditional. Once again, I have been a mother and know just how much energy is required to keep up with an insatiable child. My mother had two children of different ages and skill levels, so she was having to in effect double up. She could not read the same stories with me as with my older sister, that would not be fair. All in its right time, that is good judgement. I was allowed to be a toddler whilst my elder sister was growing into infant and being treated according to her growth speed. 

ME (left) AND MY BELOVED ELDER SISTER.

We each had our toys and books which corresponded to our age group. Maybe though it was when my elder sister started nursery, that I was spending many hours now with just my mother and dog. Watch with mother, oh, yes, I did so much watching with mother. What a great teacher she was and is when allowed to do the one on one teaching, tune into to you individually and go with your speed. I can see how complicated that must be in truth and the more children, the greater the teaching burden.

So, I do not think I missed my sister as such, I was quite likely enjoying having my mother all to myself for the first time in my three years of life to date. This was when my collection of pieces really began to grow and the picture of my life had to expand too in order to fit all of these new pieces. I have this period sat in my memory on a visible shelf, where it glows permanently with an eternal radiating warmth. 

I loved being a toddler and sitting on my mother or father´s lap. I am a lap sitter, not a `Lap Dancer´, just to clarify that for you! There is no place that equals the lap of someone who loves you and having their arms around you just makes all well with the world.

Sat on my mother´s lap, I would see some beautiful little programs made for little toddlers and these stay in my mind as though it were yesterday. I remember the songs and the music; I was like a sponge. Happily I was able to re-live all of these beautiful children´s programs with my Puppy too. "How do I know all the words to the songs", he would ask from his `sat on my lap´ position? I would tell him that some years back, "I too used to sit on my mother´s lap and watch these programs." It was a blissful repetition.

These of course, are all of the beautiful pieces, oh, yes, I wanted to keep all of those in my picture, I did! So, where did the problematic pieces come from? They could have been sounds, visions, actions and even words. If I did not understand what they were, then there was no placing them but in the darkened, tranquil night-time with the moonlight casting shadows of every size and shape all around, the inner eye is able to see more clearly the images within.

If a young mind has no guidance, it has to find its own answers. Asleep at night, with nothing to distract it, a mind like mine can run rampant! Hallucinations are the result of brain rampancy. Images would come before my inner eye and then begin to mutate and become terrifying. I would wake up screaming and crying. Poor Dad would come in to my room and I would be on his lap and buried in his arms, clinging on to my escape route from this terror of my own fabrication.

He would take me to the window cradled in his arms and draw back the curtains. We would look out into the back garden and he would talk me through the shadows and have me look at each one and tell me because of where the moon was at that moment it was creating those shadows. Our resident owl would hoot and my Dad would imitate the hoot, just as my mother would do in early evening when the owl woke up for the night! He would talk me all over our garden and he would talk me into tomorrow and what we would be doing in the garden tomorrow.

He would ask me to pay attention to the shadows during the day created by the sun and its movements. You can see the distractory strategy here, I had the same problem with my Puppy too. Give the mind something to work on! Challenge the mind because it cannot resist a challenge. For minds like ours, anything new is a challenge but if that new is particularly stimulating well, off you go!! 

Turning his thoughts back to sleeping, both for him and I, I would remember what had so disturbed me and ask my questions and he would make so light of them in such a gentle way, he would laugh comfortingly and with total security tell me that all I had to do was turn my inner eye to the light and there I would always find my happy picture again.

Bless him a million times, he did not get too many sleep`full´ nights at that time. As you can see, INFJs are born. We grow, we mature but if we do not have a guide to shine the light through our shadows of ignorance as very young children, we may become very insecure and certainly VERY introverted. I had my gentle, patient, soft voiced, night-time, light-shining guide called DAD!!!!

A decision was made, I imagine on my behalf and I began to share a bedroom with my elder sister and from there on, it would be more often her who would be my night-time comforter and light shiner. Then we went to a christmas pantomime and saw Hansel and Gretel! My sister always loved to eat and sweets and cakes she could barely resist. Of course, it was always going to be her who would fall into the wicked witch´s trap. The recurring nightmares of this were quite something. Night after night, trying to get up to that top tower room with the key, to the cage where my sister was imprisoned.

I can still remember the fear and anguish of my sister´s peril. But I was going to save her! Even in our dreams at night, we are so fiercely loyal! The peril was never mine, or I did not see my peril better said, in my dreams. Oh, no, it was the plight of my loved ones that had me conditioned to act and find the answers and solutions by myself. Without their guidance!! I was on my own when I was asleep. It takes some time to be able to guide our own thought patterns at will. It comes with age and maturity.

None the less, how easy it is to be instantaneously diverted off down a track that you would never have chosen to follow by an external factor. Being psychologically dragged where you would not want to go because you know what is down that track, you have been dragged down there so many times before, it holds no surprise for you or any stimulation for you, so why go, if not by force of  `social etiquette´? 

As young children we do not choose the people who surround us, do we? We have to cope with those around us though, which can be hard when all are trying purposefully to mould you into a behaviourial pattern that does not FEEL comfortable to you. I think that fundamentally, we are all Intuitive in our very early years but they are also the years that we are taught so many `NOs´. "You do not do that!" (I just did!) "You cannot say that!" (I just did!) "You cannot think that way!" (I just did!) So many `NOs´, what about the `YES´ factor for a child´s hungry mind.

I will ever be grateful for all the fodder that was provided to me and my sisters throughout our childhood. So much of our early learning and formation is done at home, in these early years. Our own parents and elder siblings have so much to do with that learning process and how they help you as the younger member process and understand your new knowledge. This is where I believe that we become an Assertive INFJ or a Turbulent INFJ. Maybe from thereon, the tendency to swing radically from one extreme to the other, becomes par for course for you!

Dependent always on those who really care enough to try and steer you onto the Assertive path but being permanently undermined by others who do not have the same generous distribution of their time and care. Those who, just like INFJs will do something that is good purely because they can do it. For no other reason. What are you or who are you, if you do not act on something or somewhere, when you can see so clearly the difference that you can make? I think like that too. I know that is an ingrained part of my INFJ personality type.

It is one of our most defining characteristics, is it not? Simply doing things because we can. We can do so much without even really thinking about it and so find ourselves regularly well used and generally, for very little appreciation too! But we have all got used to that, have we not? Hence a heightened need for evaluation, we are never considered! We NEED to be considered TOO!

My Dad and elder sister always did all that they could to try and guide me and support me. They did it from day one and I will carry them and their examples with me all through my own life. They were great examples to have, both of them.

This is an early insight into my toddler mind set and the influence that my own nearest and dearest had on my psyche in my beginnings. How did you fare for parents and siblings? Did you find strong bonding with your own family members? Have your family members influenced you and your behaviourial patterns? Did your family provide you with a stable ground on which to build? I know I was very, very fortunate indeed.

Thank you so much for reading. Please FEEL welcome to comment or make communication, I shall look forward to that, I shall. There is a comment space below the post and there is a contact box in the right-hand panel. Directly beneath this box is the follow tab, why not try keeping up with my trains of thought? 

In my next blog I will dive in proper and continue building my picture of  `WHO AM I?´ Moving on from my home influences into ever increasing circles and finding other sources of guidance and influence. All of which coupled with that of my family, have made me, WHO I AM today.

My first book can be found on Amazon with these links: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN Paperback and ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN e-book

Other INFJ blogs can be found here: https://lifestyle.feedspot.com/infj_blogs