MAN-KIND; GROOM, SPELL CASTER OR BOTH?

AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER, OR DID THEY? POST NO.31/IN (A 10 minute read) 

I begin today by quoting myself from my second book to be published, titled ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT and you can take a look at the book for yourselves on my Amazon page following these links: ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT Paperback and ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT e-book.

Did they all live happily ever after? How many married couples have really lived happily ever after in truth? I fear that one in a million could be a serious over-estimate! Much though, was down to our status as females; we were male property! First our father´s and then our husband´s! End of quote.

And so it is, that I continue to reveal the truth of man-kind and his coupling with a female to further his schemes and make up for all of his deficiencies of course! Because as females, we have wanted to be loved, cherished, desired, appreciated and respected, amongst many other things by our male partner, so you can see why we have all been deceived.

Reciprocity was never part of the marriage deal. Reciprocal as far as MAN-KIND would have us believe. But we could say that yes, marriage as a deal, does have specific roles given to the female and male. Reciprocal sentiment is not one of the requirements. 

Females all through time have dreamt of reciprocal love. Does man-kind even know how to love any other than himself? Well, NO, of course and that he actually loves himself is not strictly true. No, he is in love with his perception of himself and his fellow male´s perception of him. He really does not consider how his wife/partner perceives him.

She is of no importance whatsoever. Her opinion of him is of no consequence at all. SHE is nobody and nothing. "She is my INTIMATE. I drain off her goodness and replace it with my toxins!" That is what the marriage deal is all about. It is a fully one-sided exchange! A wholly toxic exchange!

I continue with Eleanor in this chapter as obviously she was not living happily ever after with King Louis VII. As Queen Eleanor of France, well, she was not lacking in material comforts that is for sure but what she was sorely lacking was a husband who met her womanly needs. I quote myself again: 

It is our emotional needs that we need met first and foremost. Enjoyable company is what we need from our partner to say nothing of sexual stimulation and sexual satisfaction. But those two clauses do not seem to enter into the deal on the long-term, only the short-term. Although YOU comply to every other clause day in, day out! You are going through the motions!! End of quote.

Eleanor had made up her mind that life with Louis was so unrewarding that she could not stay married to him, there had to be a way out and she found it. It was young Henry Plantagenet, later King Henry II of England, who seduced her and not long after meeting, whisked her away to a new life.

She was 11 years older than him but he was mature, intelligent and highly sexual. This seemed like a better match. She now had an intellectual and sexual equal, what could go wrong? I quote again:

She would miss Henry but would be compensated by the voices and words of her troubadours. One man for the physical needs and one man to keep you believing in true love and meet your emotional needs, one to soothe your lonely soul! That is how my favourite troubadour is to me; he soothes my soul as he just has again for two hours without even being present!!

They travelled much both of them and had long periods of separation during which Eleanor was pregnant. They had eight children together, five boys and three girls. Absence makes the heart grow fonder is the addage for this relationship. Henry could indeed turn into a hissing, spitting, venomous toad and all would tremble with fear when he did!

He would have fits of rage and temper when others contradicted him or were out of line with him. Some believed that they were involuntary epileptic fits. Eleanor who lived so closely with him, saw that NO, these were pre-meditated and she learned to walk away from him and leave him to it! He would throw a fit to frighten others into compliance or submission. End of quote.

Towards the end of the chapter, after Eleanor´s favourite son Richard dies and her youngest son John becomes King of England, she withdraws from her life as Queen and mother of Kings. I quote myself again:

From there she withdrew from life as she had ever known it; being in the centre of the action. It was to the Abbey of Fontevraut that she went and she was to die there in 1204 AD, at eighty-two years of age. Are men capable of loving on a continuous basis, I ask? Women are capable of loving on a continuous basis but only if that love is deserved.

Abusive treatment will only cause love to diminish and gradually lead to loathing and then hatred. Imagine that the man that you have fallen passionately in love with, actually takes you off to one of his many castles and locks you away! Ask Anne Boleyn too? Do men actually know how to love and what love is, or are they specifically bred to not have any sentimentality?

Young boys are so cuddlesome and affectionate up to about eight years of age, then sadly you lose that part of them. They now start following man-kind´s teaching and his example. "We cannot care about anything other than our ownselves and how other males perceive us!" Never how they would like to see themselves truly!

Eleanor´s grandfather, just as her husband Henry, were capricious men who would always get what they wanted. It did not matter that they flew in the face of all the established laws and it certainly did not matter at all to them that the pope ex-communicated them! "That saves doing the lip-service and all that hypocrisy."

Did Eleanor live happily ever after? She spent her whole life longing to be back in her grandfather´s court and FEEL as she used to FEEL but with she and her Prince Charming leading the merriment. All she really wanted was to be loved and to go home. Ring a bell? End of quote. 

TAKE A LOOK AT MY SECOND BOOK!

 As I say again and again, this deception that we FEEL as women in our male partner is all derived from the expectations that we had of this male and his ability to see that he did indeed meet all your expectations. Sadly, our female expectations of a permanent relationship with a male have always been significantly different to those of the male partner.

That is why our male and our relationship with that male, never live up to our expectations. We were dreaming; we were! Why are males never genuine in courtship, you might be asking yourselves too? I think that I am making that obvious in every page that I write about man-kind. If he told the truth of himself on day one; there would have been no day two!

GROOMING, that is what he was doing to us! He was GROOMING us and making us FEEL what we wanted to FEEL! How did he know what we wanted to FEEL? Well girls, don´t we all start with a new guy knowing ever better what we do NOT want to FEEL. We have learnt something from that last relationship.

There was something that had pushed you to end it, was there not? Something about that guy you did not like. As you explore sexually with men through sexual interaction and attempted relationships, you learn about men. It is probably why women like myself who have explored, how shall I say this!!! 

Women who have explored men sexually EXTENSIVELY, that is to say, that we have had great numbers of sexual partners in our lives, quite probably know more about men than they know about themselves and their own species. We get to see behavioural patterns that are repeated systematically by the vast majority of them.

What is so rare is to find a man who is independent of other men and those other men´s opinion of him. That is the character type that I have always been looking for in my male. And yes, I have known some but there was always maybe a clash of interests at some early point and so easier to see that no, there was no need for you two to become closer!

In effect, with each new relationship attempted, we know better what we do NOT want from a relationship with a man. So, from day one, we try to assert ourselves and lay out our NO CAN DO list and of course, he takes note! You are actually telling him all the things that you do NOT want and all the things that you will NOT tolerate!

There is your Prince Charming!!! He is not altogether stupid but he is looking to latch onto a host. He is of an age to be independent of his motherly source of feed and now has to play the part of an adult male. He must find a substitute source of feed; a wife!!!

Just as you lay out all the NO CAN DO´S, so you tell him of all your hopes and aspirations! Well, this must be terrifying to the average hissing, spitting, venomous toad who has no higher aspiration than find a substitute host and set up a hovel to house them both.

He can see clearly that he can neither share your aspirations anymore than he could at anytime live up to your expectations as a man. But you have handed him a script sheet. He knows what NOT to do and what TO do! Prince Charming is born! Your perfect partner who is the opposite to all of your former partner´s and to add to that, shares your aspirations!

Lying, deceiptful monsters are what they all are! All parading in the disguise of  good-looking men with great personalities and character types. Acting their hearts out! Is it any wonder that we fall under this spell of his? He is putting 100% and often times even 200% into this GROOMING of you. 

You become besotted with him, you begin to adore him, you begin to believe in him and there you begin to believe in the future of this relationship. You have become SPELLBOUND! This relationship now becomes permanent and woosh, bang, gosh! Where did he go? Where did Prince Charming go? Where did the man that I married go?

He NEVER existed. He put on a performance which was so spell binding that you became entranced. It can take many years to actually realize that you have been given a toxic kiss of slow death. From that day on, you have withered further each day. The Sleeping Beauty syndrome, ah, YES!

Sent into a state of coma by the volume of toxins in those kisses from her hissing, spitting, venomous toad. The brambles and vines growing up the walls of the castle. The hinges going rusty on the doors from lack of opening. All has come to a standstill within and waits.............

And waits but what for exactly? For the spell to break of course! And be free of the spell-caster! I am no longer spellbound and no longer enchanted. So very, DISENCHANTED as to now see only the truth of my once upon a time Prince Charming and I can no longer FEEL any love for him.

Do we need the kiss of true love to break this spell? Well, it certainly will help and even if there is no true love involved! If it is a reciprocally desired kiss, then surely it will bring life flooding back into the veins of a dormant Sleeping Beauty!

Fortunately for me, I have in recent times been woken up again as a woman. No, he could not stay. It could not be permanent but it did help break the spell cast on me.

FEELING particularly little myself as a woman right now, the next chapter 29, is titled "Little Women and Little Men With Little Money!" That will be for the next post.

I really am enjoying seeing so much movement on my blog again this week. Singapore, I do not quite know what to say because you make no comments and silence, well, I will talk more about that in another post. Hello to you in the United Arab Emirates, wonderful to have you on board. I also have 40 viewers whose origin is sadly marked as "OTHER" on my statistics chart.

Far from being "OTHER" my friends, you are so welcome on my blog and I would be delighted to know where you may be reading me from. My doors are open to ALL. A nationality is assigned to us at our time of birth. I am more interested in who we are as individual people. Please ALL FEEL free to leave your comments in the space below the posts.