WHAT IS A MAN REALLY; DO THEY EVEN KNOW?

THERE ARE HUMAN MALES AND THERE ARE MAN-KIND´S MALES, BUT HOW MANY OF THEM ARE THEIR OWN MAN? POST NO.30/IN (A 10 minute read) 

Good morning readers and I sincerely hope that it is a good morning where you are in the world today. If it is a good morning waking for you, then that makes you very fortunate people and because I have no imminent threat to my own life other than my narcissistic partner, I have to count myself in that fortunate group.

There will be more great suffering by so many in this world as this new day dawns on their lives and reveals in the full light of day just how dismal their vision of today will be. I can also relate to that group in some ways and I am sure that all of them will have much wishful thinking happening in their own minds.

Quite probably though, as the fittest of the fit shall always survive, they will already be working hard at making some kind of positive, forward progress in their lives whilst the day´s light lasts. Every hour of life is precious and any hour that is not used in a positive way, had been a misused hour, one hour that you will never be able to repeat. You just have the one opportunity!

IT IS READY AT LAST! I LOVE IT!

And so it is that I ping into action as my partner has just gone out and I will maybe find four hours pass before he comes back. So, chapter twenty-seven titled BRAVE MEN, BOLD SONS, PRINCE CHARMINGS AND HISSING, SPITTING, VENOMOUS TOADS! Like the title does not say it all! I begin by quoting myself from the beginning of this chapter:

It seems to me that all men fall into one or another of these categories. As an individual they will have a core character, their natural character, let us say; who they are by nature. But once they leave their mother´s teaching behind them, so too does the nurturing begin. They must be trained to be MEN!

By contrast I ask, why was it never deemed fit to train women to be women? Women WERE trained to be women; the male stereotype of a woman!! Males have been trying to teach women NOT to be women for hundreds of thousands of years and I talked of the Wodaabe women in my first book ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN, as being amongst some of the few women in today´s world, who have the freedom to be real women!

It is absurd, it is! As man-kind has built HIS own stereotype image of what a male should be and therefore, MUST be, so HE has built a female stereotype to match HIS schemes. We the females, have to become HIS other half, or HE would not be able to survive. But as HIS other half, we have also been expected to serve our other half simply because HE is HE! End of quote.

Sadly, as mother´s of young boys, we FEEL the loss of them once they begin to mix with other boys and go out and about, seeing the male examples that exist where they live. It is hard to bring up a wholesome young man when all of their male examples are rotten! It is a permanent battle to try and keep this once upon a time little Prince Charming of yours, from becoming a hissing, spitting, venomous toad!!

If your teaching as a mother can be applied in the home space, that really is an achievement in itself and happily, I can say that my Puppy was never unpleasant to live with. On the contrary in fact! I longed from him to come home each time he went out. Yes, it was nice to have my own space for a while but I had managed to teach him how to share a space with others!

He is a SHARER too and likes to share most of the time. I miss him so much and he has come into my dreams this week in a big way! Sadly though, our society here in Spain has become so misogynistic, so very violent and that violence being directed to women, in the form of rape and sexual abuse if not death itself.

I remind you all that two thirds of all the women killed in this world, are killed by their male husband/partner or a male family member. As women we need protection from males in our own homes more than we do in the street!! I quote myself again from the chapter:

Whose ideal other half is a hissing, spitting, venomous toad, who is all smiles down at the watering hole but by the time he has reached his castle, the chimes have rung and he has transformed into the shadow of his acting role and your real partner is the one that you, only you, really know!

He put on the act for you too until you were head over heels in love with him and set up castle together but at the threshold of the castle doors, the strain of acting which has been so strenuous, has taken its toll on Prince Charming and once distanced from spell-casters (his fellow males that is), HE becomes himself!

Having seen that become the norm very quickly, the spell that kept the Princess enchanted thus far, is unceremoniously shattered and idyllic visions of happiness and bliss are shattered along with it! If we had been told this before, of course we would not have wanted anything to do with this male!

Therefore, women were taught their role in life, which was to play the roles that their other half required them to play at any given moment and to accept that he was their protector and provider and that they should be grateful, thankful to him for HIS care and support!! We were taught to accept dependence on hissing, spitting, venomous toads and all their ugly behaviour!

I know that I have said this many times, it is a cyclical pattern; that is why? One that needs breaking up but first we have to recognize the truth as it has been and as it continues to be. We have been taught to believe that males are our superiors and that we as females, can only serve one master; our own live-in god!!! End of quote.

Fortunately for us all as women, divorce is no longer such an impossible notion and I have said before that the divorce rates here in Spain are higher each year. Why should a woman tolerate systematic abuse, both verbal, psychological and physical, each and every day from her partner. The man who supposedly LOVES her!!!!!!

That is not LOVE and that is what we all need to escape from. One of my most admired female characters is Eleanor of Aquitane, who became Queen of France and later Queen of England. She lived in the 12th Century but was able to get divorced from her first husband on the grounds of consanguinity. Although her consanguinity was even greater with her second husband.

The hypocrisy that is the Roman church and the institution of marriage are examined in this chapter. Showing how at all times, the church and the titled, were always above their own laws. And if you think that a Duchess will automatically find herself a Prince Charming, well, you could ask Eleanor how that works out.

I have a look at the loves of her life and how they all influenced her and yet, they all fell short of expectations. These are the days of knights in shining armour, whisking Princesses away to a happier life. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, more like!!! I end the post today by quoting the last part of this chapter.

Overnight therefore, Eleanor became the Duchess of Aquitaine. Even as her father was dying, he sent a messenger to King Louis VI, offering Eleanor as the wife of his son Louis! The French king replied that he would be delighted and very soon afterwards, Louis his son, rode to Aquitane to propose marriage to her!

She was now fifteen and waiting expectantly for her French Prince Charming to appear on the horizon. She and her sister would climb up to the top tower rooms and scan the countryside for signs of the French entourage that they knew was on the way. At last that day came and the flag fluttering in the breeze displayed the Royal fleu-de-lys emblems of the French Royal House.

The entourage set up camp with all of their tents and provisions and the introductions were made. For the first time this bride and groom met face to face. Something that I find impossible to imagine myself. To marry as a straightforward deal well, we are only now in the late 20th Century and early 21st Century, beginning to marry by choice!

As women, we are moving but very slowly as you can see. We have been women always but our stereotypical lives were set up for us and we just had to play our part. No, there was never any love lost in marriage; nor was any love gained either!!! End of quote.

It is with much happiness that I can announce the arrival of my second book to Ms. C and she has kindly sent me the photos of the book, so that I can show you ALL. It is available on Amazon, in fact it has been out for more than a month now, these are the links for you: ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT Paperback and ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT e-book

The next chapter is, And They All Lived Happily Ever After!!!! So, please do have a look back for that soon. In the meantime, have a great day and thank you all for reading my Trains of Thought.