ABANDONED CHILDREN CAN BECOME NARCISSISTS TOO!

THERE ARE THOSE FOR WHOM THE ONLY HOME THEY HAVE KNOWN HAS BEEN A STATE CARE HOME; THE ABANDONED CHILDREN WHOM NO ONE WANTS TO LOVE! POST NO.4/N (A 10 minute read)

It is an authentic human tragedy that there are so many children who are left abandoned by their parents simply because their biological mother´s did not want to have that child in the first place and could simply not cope with the responsibility of motherhood.

Many women have died in childbirth as well, leaving a child with no mother but maybe the family of those women will be prepared to take care of their own flesh and blood. That though, can be so very difficult to do; but love does go a long, long way to keeping narcissism at bay!

Other parents are simply not fit to look after their own children. They were not even fit to look after their own maternity/paternity, were they? Hence the UNWANTED children of this world. The overwhelming burden of every western nation. The sexual irresponsibility of the sexually ignorant causing knock-on effects for a whole nation of people!

Depending on how long a child has lived with their biological mother and father, or just one or the other, and also how happy or unhappy that time was for them, will depend their degree of suffering maybe! If removed from a mother at the time of birthing, they will never have had the opportunity to actually begin bonding with their mother´s.

But maybe many of these children have been found adoptive parents or foster parents but have outrightly rejected these substitute parents. And that is the case of boyfriend no.2.

SCENARIO 4: THE CHILD WHO FINDS NO PERMANENT ADOPTIVE PARENTS OR HOME! (BOY)

NARCISSIST BOYFRIEND NO.2 and his older brother had been parted from their biological parents at a very young age. They had had various temporary foster parents, various spells in care institutions and finally an adoptive pair of parents. The elder brother adopted this pair of people but the younger brother would not.

As such, the brothers became separated for the elder brother´s own good and the younger brother spent the rest of his childhood in care institutions. I did meet the elder brother which is how I know what I am saying right now, this knowledge did not come to me from the younger one. According to him, he had been abandoned by his parents and in a care home ever since then!

He had been completely LOVELESS all through his childhood. His own brother warned me about his incredible volatility and capability of great acts of aggression and violence but at that point in time, he was still being a Prince Charming. Yet it did ring a bell deep within me! They painted the picture of my narcissist boyfriend no.1, my first experience of a truly tortured soul!

Their two paths therefore, had been very different and it was so truly uplifting to see that it is possible to be a normal, balanced human being if you will allow yourself to grow and not spend your life running away from that tortured inner being that holds you permanently in the same day of living always.

People had tried to care and nurture him but he had rejected those attempts at all times. He saw himself as worthless. Although you would not have believed that seeing how he preened and posed around. He was like a strutting peacock; rather full of himself. He was in denial when I met him and surely still is!

A LIFE OF CRIME AND DELINQUENCY!

Well, these two brothers prove to me that it is not impossible for an orphaned child to grow into a fine, educated person who learns how to be happy. But they also show that you have to want to be happy in order that you can be happy. You have to know happiness and FEEL happiness to know that those are some of the best FEELINGS of all. You want those FEELINGS in your life!

Much happiness comes from the people in our lives and our relationships with them. The love and affection that we receive regularly from them; if we are lucky! Pleasurable experiences shared with your family members and an extended network of named people around you, who value you and who care for you.

Your extended family as we call them. The extensions of your mother and father so, if you do not have a biological mother and father, neither do you have that extended family network to bolster your sense of stability. As I said in my first book titled ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN Paperback, those of us who have aunts and uncles, cousins and grand-parents; are indeed very fortunate.

These are all very different relationships but they are fundamental in our early development as children. We are allowed to see many different personality types and will of course have our particular favourites amongst our family clans. Extended family clans do provide a deep sense of belonging and that is what is lacking from an orphaned child´s life. 

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL SCARS ARE FOR LIFE! Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash.

A SENSE OF BELONGING.

I was 24 years old when I met this NARCISSIST male and I am referring to him as narcissist boyfriend no.2 but I am not sure that I ever thought of him that way. I was making other plans for myself at that time and was seeing him whilst all was hunky dory!! I still had not seen the real HIM; the NARCISSIST.

He was 26 years old at that time and well, little by little I was learning something more of his life but from he, himself. I could hear all my alarm bells ringing. In between these two male narcissist relationships, I had met another loveable toe rag and in spite of really enjoying being with him, I had got out of that relationship very quickly.

I FELT that I could see what was coming and so left before it could come to that! I mention him in my second book titled ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT Paperback and even as I was writing of the FEELINGS that I had experienced with him, I suddenly saw him for himself. He was a real Prince Charming but he had fallen for a vicious female narcissist. He was a victim of narcissistic abuse.

Back to boyfriend no.2 and I could see that whilst I did not talk to anyone else there was no problem. Should I meet any known person and begin to communicate with them, then he would start getting surly and telling me that it was time to go!!!!

By this age he had been on the street for 10 years and half of that he had spent in prison. NO, I did not need this guy at all. I knew that! I had been through this S**T before and I did not want to go through it all again. I kept trying to tell him that it was over but as we both lived in the same city and he knew where I worked, he kept coming after me.

THE SAME OLD SONG AGAIN!

I knew that he had a court case pending and that he would be spending time in prison. I had told him that I was not staying around much longer but somehow managed to get myself trapped into writing to him whilst he was in jail! I said I would send an address as soon as I had one and foolishly, I did!

I am not going to tell the whole horrible story right now but I will further on in this series. Suffice to say that my suffering by his brutal hands was great and whilst I did manage to free myself from him; he dogged my life and persecuted my family for the following three years and even after my family moved from our family home, he continued to pester the new owners.

I could not believe that once again, I had got trapped by a full-blown NARCISSIST and oh, how I suffered for my foolishness! I vowed that I would never trust a white male again. I would never even speak to a white male again. And that vow I kept solidy for four years until once more I fell into another narcissist´s trap.

And it is has been living for so long in this trap (my tomb), that has almost seen me end my own life. I had found myself at the most vulnerable moment in my entire life and this B*****D NARCISSIST saw how he could turn that to his advantage!

In the next post I will reveal the fourth scenario of the boy child (my partner) with the NARCISSIST father and how that influences their whole character make-up. Thank you for reading and have a great day, hopefully with no NARCISSISTS in sight!