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"TO KNOW THE TRUTH, YOU HAVE TO FIND THE TRUTH, ONLY THERE DOES THE TRUTH LIE."

Friday 24 March 2023

FULL STEAM AHEAD; NEW TRAINS OF THOUGHT!

THE FLEDGLING CAREER OF THIS INFJ-T FEMALE MOVES ON TO A SECOND PIECE OF WRITTEN WORK! Post No.2/IN (A 9 minute read) 

Hi there everyone, thank you for looking my way today. You are right at the beginning of a new book, my second book in my Trains of Thought series titled, ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT! The complete inverse of my first book, which readers to my blog will know, was titled ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN! Why the total turn around?

Here are those Amazon links to my first book: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN Paperback and ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN e-book

Having found such a distressingly, dismal reception at my attempts to inform the few that I could, about my book, a deep dive into depression was my first response! I FELT that it would always be that way but I had entertained a slither of hope that maybe, just maybe, this time my partner would budge. I was wishful thinking, once more! No, HE was going to continue to be my greatest obstacle! That has not changed since!

a very hazy skyline outside this morning
IT IS A HAZY DAY OUT THIS AFTERNOON!

I had no one to turn to, no shoulder to cry on, no one to encourage me or support me and did the only thing that I can do to preserve my own mental grip on life, which is to retire into myself and seek my own therapy strategy! Talking aloud to myself and writing those words down on paper. Even as I began, I could see that this was already going to be a very different piece of work but then again, I am a writer. I can write about whatever I wish to as I have no taboos!

As INFJ type, I have no order that is not MY order and I am sure that any who came and looked around my work area would be quite disturbed by the array of pieces of paper with notes and writing pads all piled higgledy piggledy aound where I sit and try and put this blog spot together. I cannot imagine that many folk would be able to get the jist of where I am at on any given day! MY order, as I said and I know what is what and where it is. Woe betide IT change ITS coordinates???!!!!

Having somehow deleted the file for this book, I am so very thankful that I do have my hand-written manuscript to refer to right now! "Shall I just type up these opening and closing pages?" I asked myself. Then I thought, "Uhm! You have not even thought as yet what you need to write on those pages!" So true and therefore a while sat with paper and pen, saw me compose those additional pages to the book and for the moment, they are my reference. The real McCoy!  

Having got my official ISBN book number and got the title and copyright pages set, I moved on to the dedication of my book. To whom this time around? In my ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN review, Post No.4/Published 14 Nov 2022, I shared with readers the dedication of that book and why I chose those particular people and they could ALL be mentioned systematically because their prescence in my life has been all important.

A new book as this was for me, it was of course going to have a different FEEL to it. I was no longer the same person. I was a writer now!!! Yes, I could write a book and a very long and entertaining book, by my own evaluation because as I have mentioned more than once or twice, I am still pending the evaluation of any living human being!!

It was another year of living with COVID-19 and also the armed conflict in Europe had kicked off. It was a grim winter and 2022 shaping up for us all again, like we had not had our fill of winters of discontent. So, I was happily immersing myself in my own ability to write an entertaining piece of work for others to read. This book was not going to be so much about me! No one was interested in ME!

I share my dedication with you ALL:

I dedicate this piece of writing to ALL the purveyors of romance in this world. To those few males who have understood the concept of love and romance, which is how I have been able to learn of loving romantically myself. To life on the outside looking in and the time that is makes available for quality thinking! To my mother and her unfailing motherly protection, I LOVE YOU MUM! To my partner for providing me with so much invaluable learning material, which sees me become wiser by the day! To my musical troubadours, my LONG-TERM partners through life and especially to my favourite troubadour Mark Knopfler, who has never failed me yet! Thank you ALL, you give me the strength to carry on BELIEVING in love and romance!

Ah, yes! Romance and blissful FEELINGS! Are we not all searching for and longing for those sensations and to find someone with whom we can FEEL that our own FEELINGS are truly reciprocated. That is what is so very difficult to find with a male. I talked long and deep of this in my first book and of course, man-kind is our ENEMY NO.1, so, HE will certainly not be absent from any work that I ever do, though I could look forward to a day where that is not my case.

I am a long, long way from that vision though! I have to be realistic therefore and write of what I know and what I think. Hopefully engaging other people to want to think of the critically important issues in our human lives but sat peacefully in their own space and time.

This is a happy day for me although it cannot not be tinged with the sadness that comes with the failure to achieve any of your own objectives! I must learn to take the knocks and blows that come my way, must I not? That is the nature of the westernized world that I live in, so, what else could I reasonably expect? Heads stuck up backsides, as I have said many times already! Each to their own, I guess! It is a free society that we live in but as I have also said many times, freedom in the hands of the ignorant can only spell DANGER!

Far too few heads dedicating their time to resolving the issues of eight billion people, a least a third of whom have their heads stuck firmly up their own back sides. With somewhere near half of that eight billion total world population fighting daily to surive, you can see that the rest, the twenty percent, have got it all to do and with very little collaboration from the non-thinking eighty percent!

We have got to want to live better in order to do so. Our religious doctrines have been introduced at times exactly like these and for the same reasons. Far too many me, myself, I´s again! Three quarters of a nation´s wealth in the hands of one percent of the population again! Break down of teaching and learning structures. Zombified youth who play no active part in life anymore! The walking dead as I think of them and sadly, there are so many who do not make it home ever again.

We have male stalkers, predators, rapists and killers prowling the concrete jungles at all hours of the day and night. They have no purpose in their lives, they are the useless tools, the spare parts and there will be more on male spare parts through this book too. His inferiority must be revealed in all its ugly, pathetic truth!

Keeping your head firmly tucked up your own backside may seem like a prettier proposition to taking on man-kind but in reality, man-kind and HIS rule of law and living, is continuing to spread. The righteous and worthy in this world will always search for the truth. The ADVOCATES like myself, will be at the fore front of the learning and eye-opening process. Getting the veils of man-made ignorance off people´s eyes and guiding them into the light of the REAL world. That is what I was born to do and of course, given the current human climate, what else can I do but send out my message on the wavelengths and hope that someone will tune in.

I would so love to hear your thoughts and comments on the subjects talked upon, there is a comment space below the post. I also have a contact box and a follow tab in the right-hand panel. Thank you for reading my words, today I have viewers in the USA and Gran Bretaña looking my way. How do you find me? In the next post I will share the introduction of my second book, ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT with you, until then, happy learning INFJs.

My second book is now (26/08/2023) ready for reading, here are the links: ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT Paperback and ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT e-book

More INFJ bloggers can be found listed here: https://lifestyle.feedspot.com/infj_blogs

Wednesday 22 March 2023

READY TO GO; ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT NOW!

A NEW BOOK, ANOTHER STEP FORWARD FOR ME! Post No.1/IN (A 11 minute read) 

Hello and a very good afternoon to ALL of you who are checking out my blog site today. I have had a viewer from Singapore joining my wavelength for the first time. You are so very WELCOME and today, as I begin this new stage of my blog, I have been viewed from the USA, Belize and Singapore. That is such comforting news to me, though I am still longing for some feedback!

waking up to bright, clear, blue skies today
SPRING IS IN THE AIR, BLUE SKIES TODAY!

Last night I spent some time trying to understand the ins and outs of SEO optimization and I have to admit that I am totally baffled by most of what I read. I understand in principle the general logic factor but what I do so sorely lack, is computer usage knowledge. As any who read my first book ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN will find out, by year born, computer science was not part of my school curriculum.

These are the Amazon links to my first book: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN e-book and ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN Paperback

Computer science as it was then called (in 1980), was being introduced into the secondary school education system around the time that I was beginning my fourth year and so, dropping subjects and choosing other subjects to concentrate on more, which would then lead on to final qualifications on paper! It was therefore, the first year students of that time, who were the first full-time receivers of the teaching of computer science!

As fourth years, we could not come in as though we had three previous years knowledge accumulated and continue adding to that for another two years and so being able to take an examination and qualify in computer science. At the same time, this is where a cut off point came between the generations. Those who were educated prior to computer technology and the teaching of it and those who from eleven years of age, were being given school classes in computer science!!

My father bought a Home PC when they first became available to the public. As an intellectual, working male, he FELT that it was necessary to his continuing growth as an intelligent person. This was new technology but it was clearly so very beneficial in so many ways, that it was absolutely going to become part of our every day lives and therefore, he needed to keep up with the changing times too!

I was at that particular moment in time, giving the majority of my energies to learning of what I FELT I needed to know right then and was very busy socializing with my peers and indulging in music and music gigs. We had been subjected as children, to a wave of science-fiction on our screens both in the form of films and TV series, British and American.

We had all sorts of novelties happening with regards to space travel and this machine driven, metallic, robotic, science-fiction of the screen script-writers, directors and producers, was becoming ever more like to our reality. Which came first, I ask myself? The fictional script-writers and then the experts trying to make science-fiction (make-believe), actually become REAL!! Was that the plot? Actually turn all of that man-made fiction into REALITY?

Punk Rock and all of the YOUNG PUNKS like myself, had all been kicking butt for two or three years by then but we had our feet so firmly planted on the ground, that it was our current reality that we were wanting to change. Our own reality was so lamentable, with our Roman Imperialist them and us societies. Corrupt kings and leaders, piling the riches in their own coffers whilst the rest struggled to keep warm and fed!

I do not think that we had any room in our lives for science-fiction, NONE at all. As such, we knew very little about computer technology and neither did we want to embrace it. We could see like my father, that this was going to be a new wave of? A new wave of WHAT? More evolved brains? I think that was the general idea but of course, from the little that we did glean from other family members or friends, we could see that this apparatus in effect, was doing much of the thinking for you and that could only forbode ILL!

Post Second World War, in my birth nation of Gran Bretaña, we saw the greatest leap forward as a whole society, that had ever been seen. The destruction of buildings up and down the country from the long years of Nazi bombing, meant that whole towns and whole city neighbourhoods had to be rebuilt from scratch. It was a clearing up of much that was old and degraded and a new look country was being set up.

Water pipes and electric cables were installed anew, drainage systems and roads re-planned and resurfaced. It was a new beginning phase. The nation had lost 6% of its male population, some 12.5% of all the males who were in active military service during that war, lost their lives. There were crippling injuries sustained by many of the surviving soldiers and as such, they were never able to return to a working life!

Step up ladies!!!! Yes, it was by national necessity not by any national consensus regarding the female right to receive education and take up employment. This large loss of males, in my opinion, is what gave us in the UK, our head start over all of this world´s females! We were needed and we stepped up to the task immediately. State education was made available to all children and from there, literacy began to increase full-scale.

Rock and Roll was the let off steam valve of those war children who had known this misery and fear of death. Brought up on rationed food, their physical development was stunted, they missed out on years of early education owing to the systematic disruption caused by air strikes from an enemy attacker. Rock and Roll was made for them. Get out all of those pent up emotions and begin to FEEL alive and be grateful to be alive!

These Rock and Rollers paired off and gave birth to the 70s teenagers like myself. But the younger brothers and sisters of this Rock and Roll generation, were the sixties teenagers and early seventies teens. These were all young people wanting to leave the jaded stereotyped lives of males and females behind and actually enjoy life, FEEL what it is to be alive. Our music through those decades of the 50s, 60s and 70s, was our guide to FEELING life.

Socializing with like-minded people became a popular past-time, people had many thoughts and aspirations coming on, borne off the back of change comes the dream to make the REAL changes that will REALLY make all the difference. Having witnessed war with new technological capabilities, seeing men walk on the moon and many other unexpected novelties, each generation has been more inclined towards PEACE building and looking to breakdown barriers erected by past leaders.

The mind set my friends, the mind set! We as generations, will still go to our own mind as our first recourse! Not so the computer generations, oh, no! Give any member of the computer generations a memory test and you will see what I mean! NONE! The absorbancy of reality is not occurring. The human connections are becoming the rarity.

The dangers of this communication breakdown are now being revealed in ALL of their ugliness. We have bred generations of brain dead people who can only react to the established command pattern of another brain (mother board of PC). Muscle memory occurs as opposed to memorial retention of the facts. There are no longer the social contacts occurring in spite of all of these insane social networks.

Get busy on social networks if you want to bring viewers to your blog! No, I do not FEEL the need or have the desire to play ping-pong with anyone. I do not wish to slug it out with anyone tennis style either! As I said to Ms. C one day when we met, "I do not want to play a game with another person. I want to converse with another person reciprocally. I would say, "Shall we leave the ball and raquets on the sidelines, take the net down and pull up a chair in the middle together?""

From there, we both have the same vantage point of view and we can see all around us too! Being pre-computer age like myself, Ms. C is as equally capable as me, of sitting for a good number of hours without having to keep looking at their mobile phone! Working in a beach-side restaurant as I did in my first summer here, I was horrified to see families, mum, dad, kids of various ages, all on a family holiday, yet each and every one of them, looking down at their mobile phones. Why did they spend the money going away?

Back home and my Dad´s new PC, well, highly INTUITIVE as my father was, just like I, we could not see what the heck one was supposed to do with this new apparatus. Step up my younger sister, just ten years of age at that time and it seemed like child´s play to her, 99% OBSERVANT as she is! I think that says it all. 

The screen has created an invisible link of communication and connection, that is altogether superficial if real at all. Our screens, whether the cinema screen or TV screen, both had already become entertaining windows on life, depending on the programme choice and there I come back again to the Americanization of our screen material. Seeing our differences and wishing to keep up with the Americans.

What a turn around! Had it not been the whole world looking towards Gran Bretaña as their point of reference per excellence? Now everything British was not good enough and we had to become more like the brash, tasteless American culture? Well, as the vast majority of my viewers are from the USA, I will speak to you ALL directly here. No culture has been perfect, none of them. But the violence portrayed on our screens, made in America, has had a dramatic effect on Europe and its computer generations who can only communicate with screen displayed images!

This infiltration of images all sick and violent, from all over this world not just the USA, has seen these generations really have no contact with the real world as my generation knew it and thought of it. We were always thinking of making human contact. I am writing this blog now on my home PC because it has now become impossible to find a human being who can converse about anything that is of importance!

If they did not see it on a screen, it did not exist! The brain feeding has saturated our young people with hideous man-made images and they are now walking completely blind to the ACTUAL world that they are living in. The ZOMBIE generations now walk in our midst and these males have little to do with any other generation of males that we have recorded in HIS-STORY!

The pressure is so great upon the male of the human specie to come out of the shadow of male stereo-typed life. Be homosexual if that is his need or learn about females if he wishes to have heterosexual partners. The same for the female population, we must now assert ourselves sexually and no longer be used as personal whores.

I am 83% Intuitive and these Observant contraptions give me a really tough time!! But there are ALL those people in now forty-three countries who have been able to find my blog! Like I am not puzzled as to how I have been found but delighted too, maybe there are some INTUITIVE types whose search criteria gets them sent my way! I will keep trying to see the light, I will!

Oh, that beautiful FEEL of enlightenment that comes upon me when I finally see the light flickering in the depth of my dark computer ignorance zone!! I had hoped that my second book would give me much less difficulty than the first but oh, no! I have made exactly the same blunders this time around as last! I cannot credit it myself! My rage was so great but that was balanced by my own sense of uselessness and failure, that I had only two options! I give up altogether or I switch off altogether and come back to it another day!

When you live in secret and you cannot give voice to, or share any of the thoughts going through your mind or the FEELINGS that are overwhelming you, there is a real fear of something giving way and this knowledge that there will be no coming back from that `giving way´. It FEELS as though something is clinging on by a hair´s width and being a hairdresser, I know just how strong healthy hair can be but how easily brittle hair will snap! 

I have learnt to let go and fall! Free fall wherever I have to fall to! Once I stop falling, then I can think about trying to pick up my thread (my strand of hair/hope) again and try to move towards the light of tomorrow once more. That hair/strand will strengthen if the burning heat of my rage does not get to frazzle it, which is why I must just let go and disappear into myself for the days that it takes to over ride my own sense of incompetence, my own resentment at having none to ask for assistance and having none to even empathize or sympathize with me. 

I lament my solitude and then realize that no, I am not alone, I am very well accompanied, supremely well accompanied in truth! I have my music and my troubadours who catch me when I fall. Who then cradle me and soothe my injured FEELINGS. They caress me with their passion and care and then they arouse me and the fighter comes back!

NO, you will not break my will, I will break through the barriers that block my path towards the light of my tomorrow!

Not withstanding, being of pre-computer age, I do of course, have my handwritten manuscript of ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT and in my next post I will launch into this second book of mine.

I thank you ALL so very much for reading me today. Please do FEEL welcome to comment in the space below the post, how about you let me know how you found my blog and give me a boost? If you prefer to communicate more discreetly by e-mail, great, send me your address via the contact box in the right-hand panel. And now as I begin this second phase of my blogging and reviewing my second book, why not become a follower and be notified of each new post as they are published, the follow tab is under the contact box? I would love to check back and find some words from someone, somewhere in this world.

Have anyone of you readers, read more than one post? That is a question that I have burning in my mind, if I let it!!! Are you pre-computer generation? Are you still a face to face communicator? Or are you computer generation and have little experience with your real, face-to-face human communication skills?

An update to this post (26/08/2023), my second book is available on Amazon. These are the links: ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT e-book and ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT Paperback

More INFJ reading can be found here: https://blog.feedspot.com/infj_blogs

Monday 20 March 2023

THE LAST `ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN´ POST!!

THE END OF AN ERA OF GREAT EXPECTATIONS! Post No.60 (A 9 minute read) 

Considering the length of time that it took me to achieve a point of COMFORTABLY NUMB, almost three years all in, by total contrast it has taken just three weeks to become COMPLETELY NUMB! My greatest fear is becoming my new reality. Whilst the dark shadows and demons are banished from my mind and I am preventing the infiltration of a new crew, none the less, the crippling lack of space for thought has my mind suppressed and crowded by the prescence of my real life demon!

Good evening to you all, I can truly wish that your life and mental health are in a far more secure state of balance than mine are and that you are not having to work so hard to maintain your status quo. That would be my wish for every righteous and worthy human being but sad to say, I know already that my wish, as sincere as it is, is only me thinking wishfully!

Finally, I have completed Pages three and four, which can be now be found at the top of the left-hand panel along with Pages one and two. These four Pages are the listed summaries of the sixty posts written between November 2022 and March 2023 that were all related to my first book to be published, titled ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN! For want of someone to review my book, I took it upon myself, little INFJ-T, to review the book with the outside hope that maybe I could find someone somewhere, who could be interested in reading it!

the pink front cover of my first book on the outside looking in
FAREWELL TO MY FIRST BOOK! 

The link to the paperback: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN 

And the e-book link: ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN

And I did! No less than eleven hours of reading material, spread over sixty posts, which between them, have had two thousand, two hundred and thirteen views up to today 19/03/2023. My stats show a total of three thousand, two hundred and twenty-two views, where the one thousand and eight difference between views to the blog site and views to the posts, I cannot say!

To the best of my understanding of my stats charts and map, I have had viewers from forty-two countries across the five continents. That knowledge is for me, one of the most uplifting aspects of my decision to begin blogging. I am going to name all the countries from where I have been viewed by someone.

AFRICA! Well, I do so remember the day that Morocco was lit up on my stats map. I was overjoyed, I truly was. My deep love for Morocco and its people has stayed always in my heart and I have been dreaming of Fez el Bali in recent nights! South Africa has since joined my Africa list and I have had regular views from there. Whilst it was only my suitcase that went to Mauritius, I have been viewed over on that beautiful Indian Ocean island, neighbours to the Seychelles, as well. Egypt have also come on board my Trains of Thought blogsite and I am thrilled to know that. Close to the cradle of human-kind, in East Africa, viewers from Kenya have tuned into me too. You are ALL so welcome, I thank each and every one of you for giving me your consideration. I hope you will continue to find interest in my writing.

OCEANIA! The largest island in the world, Australia, has brought me some viewers regularly. I have made it all the way down under!! My thanks to you all. You are ALL very welcome and I hope that you will stay on board too!

THE AMERICAS! My very first viewers were from the USA and I have had views from there every day since I began my blog. To date there have been one thousand, nine hundred and twenty views from the USA, my largest audience by a long way. Thank you every one of you and I do wonder my friends if actually any of you have read more than one post! Canada too has also been very regularly lit on my map, I am so very happy to know that I am reaching so far and wide. Thank you and please keep tuning in!

SOUTH AMERICA! You may well believe my surprise when I saw Jamaica lit up on my map! Bob Marley territory and that gave me a smile! Nearby Bahamas have found me as well as Puerto Rico, thank you so very much for your interest. Across on the mainland, I have also had views from Belize. It really is quite remarkable to think that I am being read so far away. I would love you all to follow my Trains of Thought, come on board!

ASIA! India was the first Asian country lit on my stats map, that FELT beautiful and I have had regular interest from India. Thank you all for your time and consideration, please keep coming back. Next door Pakistan have found me too, wow!! I have been viewed on the island nations of South Korea, the Philippines, Malaysia, Indonesia and Japan. Also in Timor-Leste and nearer to me, Georgia and yes, I have got my eye on Georgia! Nine Asian nations have been able to find me. Thank you one and ALL! You are so WELCOME!

EUROPE! How have I fared closer to home? Spain is my highest viewer to date, followed by my birth nation of Gran Bretaña, who have been looking my way in recent weeks. No less than twenty-two European nations all told. Germany, Denmark, Finland, Poland, Malta, Switzerland, Italy, Greece, Portugal, Sweden, Austria, Gibraltar, Serbia, North Macedonia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Netherlands,  Czechia, Belgium and Hungary! Quite a lot of different nationalities of people who have found my blog site and decided to take a look!

Forty-two different countries, three thousand, two hundred and twenty-one views and just three comments on three posts! Eleven hours of reading and nothing to say, which I have to interpret as "NO COMMENT!" My goodness, what it is to try and get an opinion out of a person, either known or unknown! I really do not understand that!

My Post No.55 - `IT IS CINDERELLA´S LAST SEASON, FIONA IS TAKING OVER FOR NOW´!, published the 16th February 2023, aroused an interest which I cannot explain. One of my shortest posts of all (could that be why?), yet the views were flooding in and from all over the world quite literally as the countries named above show. That post has now been viewed one thousand, seven hundred and twenty-seven times but not one comment? NOT ONE!!

Communication Breakdown I have to believe but it shall not be my failure to communicate, or at least keep trying to communicate, that will ever be to blame! I shall keep trying! I am INFJ type, I know that I am very different from the average type. Patience had never been one of my virtues but it is increasing by force rather than by free will. I will keep hoping that I can cross paths with communicators though I cannot help but FEEL that my chances of that happening are about as good as my chances of bringing down the gods!!!! I will not stop planning accordingly though!

I was a SOLOIST and still am a SOLOIST, that is an inevitable status whilst you are surrounded by non-communicators. So, if one has to continue as a SOLOIST well, what is new? The hope remains though that there could be another human being somewhere who could choose to make contact with me and find something to say about my work.

So, it is GOODBYE and FAREWELL to my first book ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN and the related posts. I shall update the stats at the end of each month on each of those four Pages. I can see that Pages one and two are being viewed but as yet have not encouraged anyone to look back! I will have to stop thinking about it and get moving forward in time and linger no longer!!

I will of course reply to any comments that come in to those posts and with great delight but I shall now put ALL the energies that I can muster into my second book ON THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT! Quite a different point of view this time! I told my life story and laid the foundations for my Trains of Thought series with my first book, so, now onto the second ride!

I thank you ALL for finding me (how I do not know) and giving me some of your time and thought! I shall look forward to your continued interest in my work. Why not sign up now and become a FOLLOWER of this next phase of posts in which I will review my second book and of course, talk about ongoing struggles for survival and other topics of prime importance!

Your comments will be most welcome, how can a writer ever know how they are doing if no one ever gives an opinion about their work? There is a comment space under each post and a contact box in the right-hand panel of the blog page. Make yourselves heard!!! Until the next post, happy learning!!

More INFJ reading can be found here: https://lifestyle.feedspot.com/infj_blogs