NARCISSISTIC MIRRORING TRICKS YOUR EYES!

THE NARCISSIST BEGINS TO WRITE HIS NEW SCRIPT AND YOU HAVE BEEN UNWITTINGLY CHOSEN TO PLAY THE SECONDARY ROLE! POST NO.20/N (An 11 minute read)

That is what I can see so very clearly right now but it has taken a very long time to do so. It has been thanks to the psychologists, self-confessed victims of NARCISSISTIC ABUSE and two self-confessed NARCISSIST´S videos on Youtube, that have actually allowed me to see at long last what face values all my dominoes really have.

Each domino is being offered to me by this new NARCISSIST. The FALSE-SELF is in fact the blank side of the domino. That is the face which is shown to you. Really though, that blank side is just a mirror which reflects back to you what you want to see.

Rather like the mirror at Hogwarts that Harry Potter found. What did Harry see reflected back at him? The image that he most longed to see; his parents and him together. But what did his friend Ron see reflected back in the mirror? Well, Ron saw himself as a Quidditch crack. The star of the show, the one who gets all the applause and write-ups.

It is the same principle that exists in the fairy stories too. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?" And whilst it could be honest with the looker into the mirror, it could say, "You my dear!" But only whilst it could be honest, because the fairy story mirror worked on truth. 

The Hogwart´s mirror held trickery but was also working on truth! It was reflecting the true images that you wished to see of yourself. It was reflecting what was going on in your inner mind, it was not relecting a straight forward reflection of the physical you back; was it?

And so, as frame shots in a film production, each domino has a scene stored in it. The dialogue (the script) for that scene had been written by him and because it RESONATED so well with you, you responded by playing your part of this INVISIBLE script to perfection. That is to say, that you are falling into his trap and you are not seeing it.

YOUR PRINCE CHARMING IS THE SCRIPT WRITER, PRODUCER  AND DIRECTOR OF YOUR NIGHTMARE!

That is so true and that is how your life with a NARCISSIST has been at all times. By showing you the blank side of each domino/script sheet, he has allowed you to write your IDEAL scene and it is that which he has reflected back at you. He FEELS the same, he wants the same, he is a KINDRED SPIRIT.

But of course, in the game of dominoes, you always keep the face value of the dominoes hidden and sad to say, this is just what the NARCISSIST does to you for a long time. I can see them all now as TOMB STONES or PAVING SLABS!! Each and every domino/tomb stone/paving slab that fell into place was because I saw a foundation possibility.

I was looking to build stability and needed to find some solid ground on which to begin to grow upwards and onwards again. What I can now see is that each and every one of these dominoes/tomb stones/paving slabs that were placed, were all laid face down. I walked over the mirror image of what I believed each domino/tomb stone/paving slab represented.

They were foundation stones as I saw it. But NO, NO, NO, NO! I was being set up! Just like all those beautiful domino runs. But in those fantastic runs, the numerical values/the face values, are irrelevant, aren´t they? It is the physical distance and weight of the dominoes that comes into action, not the values of the dominoes.

I am seeing flashes of the face value of each domino/tomb stone/paving slab. The RED FLAGS are the face value of your NARCISSIST. He shows you flashes of himself. He shows you the mirror image of what you are either wanting or needing. It is as though he is offering that to you, just as the mirror at Hogwarts. 

It is when you refuse these relections once and then twice, that there will be a sudden turn and a flash of his face value is seen. He sees the alarm reflected in your eyes and that is his warning signal. "Turn round or you will be discovered. It is too early yet for discovery, I haven´t got her trapped securely yet!"

Well, you can be sure that those hidden face values don´t add up to much, do they? If turned the other way, would any of the pieces line up and match? Yes, of course they would. They all had the same face value, ZERO, but were they all identical? 

Each one has the face value of your DEMONIC NARCISSIST. But the RED FLAGS are the face values of the NARCISSIST´S dominoes and as you are finding out, he has quite a long list of RED FLAG warning signals of wholly ABNORMAL behaviour.

Just as in a pack of playing cards, all have a value minus the joker. Every domino laid down by the NARCISSIST will have his picture on the face down side. It does not matter what value you give to the blank side, that is only a reflection of your desires. Just like Harry and his family and Ron finally being noticed for something positive, the blank side is all our ILLUSIONS.

ILLUSIONS are being created for us by our director and producer with all of these scenes and scripts. We actually believe that we have met our Prince Charming (offers of advice, kindness, guidance, support, love and affection giver, understanding, complicity) and as we are Princesses ourselves, what could be more IDEAL? What could be more IDEAL of course, would be actually finding a male who was a genuine Prince Charming and not a hissing, spitting, venomous toad!

Logically, if the NARCISSIST had shown you his face value, that of a hissing, spitting, venomous toad who was looking for an INTIMATE to FEED off and to use for LEVERAGE, given his failed self and life thus far, you would never have considered even having one drink with him! That is clear! Hence he never shows you his face value until he FEELS that he has you securely trapped.

So, having laid the foundations for my new day time employment, I no longer needed an au pair or a baby sitter. Ostensibly therefore, he had just resolved one of my issues and removed a considerable expenditure from my list. There did not seem to be anything wrong with that but there was. 

I was seeing what I wanted to see. Look how many RED FLAGS I have pointed out already and I have not known him a week yet. This SPEED is of the essence for the NARCISSIST. He is always floundering, he is always looking for opportunities for good feed. But I was also with a certain amount of pressure and he was finding the ways to relieve me from that pressure. Or so it seemed! 

OH, THEY WERE SHABBY RED FLAGS TOO!! Photo by Chi Nguyen on Unsplash.

JUST ME, MY PUPPY AND THE NARCISSIST!

My au pair left and it was a sad parting. She, I think could clearly see what this male was about but as she was leaving, she said nothing. I wished her well and thanked her for her six months spent with us. I had not found any reason at any time to pick her up on anything. She was a wonderful person and it had been good to share our temporary home with her.

This temporary home was costing me somewhat more than it should have. As a foreigner at that time, I could only take out monthly contracts. The cost of the agency fees for the contracts was ridiculous. It was as though each month was double the rent. 

Plus I had a number of things that needed dealing with in the apartment and here in Spain, all repairs are done at the cost of the tennant. So, I was finding extras being poured on and it seemed as though I would never get to see much of my own very, hard earned money.

The nursery had it cost of course but was essential. Give it another six months or so and Puppy would have to be starting at primary school. I was still working on the premises that my sister was going to get a permanent home set up for her and my nephew. That may well have been my sister´s original plan but whether it was or not, it ceased to be her plan!

Adding another NARCISSIST RED FLAG warning that I learnt that week. You see these flashes of the real HIM and yes, you HATE HIM! Oh, YES! You have known HIM before. HIM seems to reside inside of most males, my experience has shown.

My washing lines came down!! Another expenditure to cover of course but with a bed-wetting child, wet sheets and wet pyjamas every day to wash, I had to have a washing line! I had an elderly male living on the floor above me who would hide (so he thought) and watch me hanging out my washing. "Sick, pervert!" I thought to myself and rightly so.

But hey! I had to hang my washing out and he seemed to be on the watch for those moments. Just to show how quickly the NARCISSIST´S voice speaks within you, I knew that the NARCISSIST would have a go ME for this interest from this elderly male.

And too right he did. It was MY FAULT for encouraging him! It was MY FAULT for wearing that top! It was MY FAULT because of my lewd behaviour! This is where the destruction of your own self-confidence begins. You are made to FEEL like the lowest female on Planet Earth and this is "LOVE" my friends? We must be half or wholly mad when VULNERABLE.

But the truth of this is in that mirror imaging; isn´t it? They are showing you most of the time, what THEY want you to see, which is fundamentally what YOU want to see. But what they are concealing at all times is what THEY want to see. What do THEY really want to see in you? THEY want you to become their IDEAL match.

They have got to change the face values on your dominoes! WHY? Because as it stands, HIS blank face and MY blank face are absolutely symmetrical. We are appearing as one and the same. But who is the ONE and who is the same. ME, of course! I fell for what I wanted to believe was a person just like myself. A really good, honest, sincere, decent, caring, loving, kind person.

I fell in love with my reflection. Turn my face values towards his and the battle lines are drawn! That is why the NARCISSIST has to set about destroying your character. He wants to reduce you into becoming a match for his dominoes. But all of his have the same face value. 

Like the "JOKER" card, his face value side shows a picture of him, a sick, twisted, sub-human who has been consumed by his own littleness and sense of inferiority. He has left the human world and now resembles the "DEVIL" himself!

And that ladies, is what I have become; haven´t I? I have become DIABOLOICAL!! I live in the Spanish language here and the word for the DEVIL is "DIABLO", I have become as the DEVIL! But only when I have a DEVIL stood in front of me!!!!  

Thanking you all for joining me today and hopefully in the next post I will finish the "FIRST" week of this INSANE life that is still mine. Have a good day everyone and take care of yourselves. Your comments would be most welcome. Have you met a NARCISSIST before? Did you see the RED FLAGS and not recognize them?